THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, January 24, 1996 TAG: 9601240040
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E6 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Book Review
SOURCE: BY SHARON WEINSTEIN
LENGTH: Medium: 78 lines
IN HER NEW book, ``The Secrets of Mariko: A Year in the Life of a Japanese Woman and Her Family'' (Random House, 338 pp., $25), Elisabeth Bumiller, a reporter for The New York Times, characterizes the Japanese as living in ``one of the world's most closed societies.''
To narrow the gap between American and Japanese cultures, Bumiller spent a year in intimate connection with what she describes as an ordinary Japanese family: the Tanakas.
Bumiller chose Mariko Tanaka, a 44-year-old middle-class wife and mother of three, because hers was ``such an ordinary existence.''
And yet, after a year of sharing countless activities and special events - such as excursions into office culture, neighborhood politics, religious rituals, high-pressured educational competitions, the influence of organized crime, the karaoke craze, and Japanese soap operas - Bumiller came to realize there was ``a thread of poetry'' running through Mariko's life.
Drama emerges from the most unlikely scenarios: From Mariko, the author and their translator, Sachiko, ``sitting on the floor in Mariko's house, drinking endless cups of tea and eating Japanese junk food,'' discussing marriage, children, work, husbands and cooking; from PTA meetings; from a beautiful grove of 30 gingko trees that get cut down to make room for a parking lot; and from following Mariko at her part-time job as a meter reader.
The tension within Mariko's family is shown in high relief. The household is fairly large by American standards. Saburo, Mariko's father, who was imprisoned in Australia during World War II, devotes himself full-time to the care of his bedridden wife, Ito. Mariko is frustrated because she feels her mother could do more for herself, and when her father is hospitalized, the care of her mother falls on her.
The eldest son, Shunsuke, is a 16-year-old who had been a stellar student and now is beginning to fumble. Chiaki, the 15-year-old daughter, is moody and volatile. And the youngest, Ken-chan, at 9 years old, is both stubborn and cheerful.
Besides Mariko, Bumiller gives the most attention to Takeshi, Mariko's husband. Through his life we see the extraordinary number of hours a Japanese worker - he is an electrical engineer - must give to his company and the typical price he pays: a fondness for alcohol and staying out all night.
To Bumiller, the Tanakas' marriage doesn't seem like much of one. Takeshi is withdrawn, distant and uncommunicative. ``Below the surface of the `stable' Japanese family,'' Bumiller writes, ``is often an overworked, hard-drinking father who is gone 18 hours a day'' and is ``a visitor in his own home.''
By American standards, ``the majority of Japanese families would be considered dysfunctional,'' she adds. But Bumiller shows that the Japanese expect far less from marriage than Americans do and that ``happy families may not be as important to a nation's health as stable ones.'' The American divorce rate is almost four times that of Japan.
Mariko herself, exuding ``energy, competence and control,'' proved to be somewhat of a surprise to Bumiller. After spending a year essentially living Mariko's life with her, Bumiller prepares to leave Japan. In one of their final, most casual of conversations, Mariko drops a bombshell. She tells Bumiller that she had a lover during the early years of her marriage.
``Never had it occurred to me that Mariko, my typical Japanese housewife, would have been so daring, so irresponsible - so enterprising, really - as to have an affair. She seemed far too grounded in her family for that,'' Bumiller writes.
But Bumiller concludes, ``I had started out trying to learn what it is like to be a Japanese housewife and had ended up seeing how kindred people really are, and how every life, no matter how plain its surface, is a drama of roiling emotion underneath.''
And yet, even though Bumiller is able to offer her readers some extraordinary insights into the texture of ordinary Japanese marriage and family, there is something cold and distant about her account. While she understood that Mariko could live within the limitations of her society - and not even perceive them as limitations - Bumiller herself never warmed up to the kind of life she describes. MEMO: Sharon Weinstein is a professor of English at Norfolk State University. by CNB