THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 28, 1996 TAG: 9601260024
SECTION: COMMENTARY PAGE: J5 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Editorial
SOURCE: KEITH MONROE
LENGTH: Medium: 67 lines
Here we are once again, at Anticlimax Sunday. This is the day when the so-called Superbowl is played, or perhaps we should say inflicted. An NFC team - usually Dallas or San Francisco - gives an AFC team - usually Buffalo - a fearful drubbing. By halftime it's all over except for the hype and the tire commercials.
This year, Anticlimax Sunday may set the tone for the whole year. It's hard to see how anything now on the horizon will be anything but a huge letdown. The economy is already looking as though it will provide a disappointing sequel to 1995 and the stock market can't help but fall short of its unsustainable performance of last year.
Actually, the State of the Union address on Tuesday may have already set the anticlimactic tone when it followed ``Third Rock from the Sun'' and wasn't nearly as funny. It was, however, almost equally full of alien ideas.
For the past year, we've been hearing about how the Republican revolution was going to to remake Washington, balance the budget and save our grandchildren from penury. But what we seem to have is another case of gridlock, only nastier than usual. And if Newt was the Man of the Year in 1995, it's safe to bet 1996 will be a huge anticlimax for him and his fans.
At the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue is the town's longest running anticlimax. For three years we've been assailed by Whitewater, Travelgate and assorted Billary scandals and mysteries. In the latest installment a panting press is comparing the Clinton White House to the game of Clue. Who covered up the past and suddenly materialized those missing papers? Corporate lawyers in the Blue Room with a briefcase.
Yet does anyone doubt that the ultimate outcome of this endless game of gotcha, of all the heavy breathing by pundits and nasal whining by Alphonse D'Amato, is going to be another anticlimax?
Bill and Hillary return to Arkansas. They do not pass go. They do not collect a second term - barring another Perot eruption. They do garner a book deal worth millions, but when the manuscript is delivered - guess what? Like all previous presidential memoirs - except that of U.S. Grant - it's a huge anticlimax.
Over on the Republican side of the campaign, we've got another major letdown brewing. Who's going to take on Bill? Could it be, Bob Dole? Who else? Haven't we seen this show before?
And this year, we don't even have to wait for the campaign to start in order to get the lowdown on which special interests have given the candidate how many hundreds of thousands to do their bidding. Thanks to the new book, The Buying of the President, even the attack ads will be an anticlimax. We already know all about the Gallo contributions. And the story of how Liddy Dole got preferential treatment on an investment that went bad seems old hat after Hillary's cattle futures.
In fact, the campaign of 1996 is not looking so much like a yearlong anticlimax as a rerun. Like almost everything else on TV at this time of year, it appears awfully familiar, especially the cast of also-rans. Steve Forbes is Jack Kemp without muscles but with shorter speeches. Phil Gramm is a tall Ross Perot. Lamar Alexander has got the plaid shirts of Ollie North and the charisma of Al Gore. Dick Lugar is Mike Dukakis without the excitement.
The only sensible response to this spectacle is: Wake me when it's over. In fact, hibernation until Anticlimax Sunday 1997 is probably the best thing any of us could do. In case I oversleep and miss the big game, I'll take Dallas - by 11. MEMO: Mr. Monroe is editor of the editorial page. by CNB