THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, February 5, 1996 TAG: 9602050027
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B5 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MATTHEW BOWERS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 85 lines
A powerful need to belong, to find an identity, to be accepted - these are some of the defining characteristics of adolescence. They're also what can compel kids to join bizarre groups or to engage in unusual - even criminal - behavior, child-development experts say.
This could include joining a ``vampire family'' and engaging in sex acts with an older man.
``They're going to find some way to fit in with some group,'' said Daryl O'Brien, a clinical social worker with Family Services of Tidewater in Norfolk.
``They're looking for some kind of sense of identity or self-image that they're not getting from somewhere else, something they're not getting from other groups.''
If it's not the basketball team or a church club, it might be a crowd that has lower ``standards'' for acceptance, such as drug-abusers or truants - or even a ``vampire family,'' O'Brien said.
Home, too, can make a difference.
``If they're in a home where perhaps they don't get enough attention,'' O'Brien said, ``or enough positive reinforcement for things that they do . . . they may go somewhere where they can get that, and feel valued.
``They're wanting to feel needed, and wanted, and accepted, and valued and loved. So it probably can be pretty seductive.''
It's not strictly an adolescent thing to be interested in things spiritual, mystical and magical, but groups dabbling in these areas can be even more seductive to some teens, added Mark J. Benson, an associate professor of family and child development at Virginia Tech.
``Kids may view that as having access to some kind of power they may not have themselves,'' Benson said. ``So a kid who feels particularly powerless, or doesn't belong anywhere, may be'' a target.
Benson reminded parents that ``the vast majority of kids are not involved in things like this.'' Most don't even have particularly stormy adolescences. But what can make this time of life hard for parents is that it's still a time of experimentation necessary for learning about things like friendships and which strangers to trust.
``In some respects, the kinds of things that attract kids to cults are very normative in, for example, adolescent experimentation,'' Benson said.
``Even though that term has negative connotations, we want adolescents to experiment with different careers, with different philosophies of life. In fact, we'd worry about the adolescent who never ventured beyond his doorway. .
To protect their children, parents must do what good parents always do: listen to their children, pay attention to what they're doing, be supportive. Make sure they get the message that they can openly talk about what's going on in their lives, about what they're happy and sad about, without always being judged, said O'Brien of Family Services.
Virginia Beach police Detective Don Rimer, an expert on the occult who is investigating the case against Jon C. Bush, who claims to be a vampire, said parents ``need to be a part of everything a child does.''
That's especially true, Rimer said, if the activity is a role-playing game with mature themes. Bush's ``vampire family'' was loosely based on such a game.
``These aren't board games like Monopoly and Scrabble where you play it, I win or you win, it's ended and we go home,'' Rimer said. ``These are perpetual games, an ongoing life game. . . . Parents need to be a part of the game, to be involved in it. Once parents see some of the behavior in the games, they'll want to keep their children out of it.''
Parents also should take note of increased truancy or drops in school grades, other changes in attitude or behavior, unexplained anger, the friends their children spent time with, their children staying out later, and signs of substance abuse.
Some of these signs indicate only the ups and downs of adolescence, but some also can be reactions to sexual trauma. O'Brien has seen before sexual-victimization setups similar to that alleged about the ``vampire family.''
``It's not unusual,'' O'Brien said. MEMO: Staff writer Mike Mather contributed to this story.
ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Jon Bush's ``vampire family'' may have appealed to its members'
need to feel wanted.
KEYWORDS: OCCULT VAMPIRE by CNB