THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, February 14, 1996 TAG: 9602140022
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: By DEBRA GORDON, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 97 lines
THE KING OF romance is 40 and slightly rotund. His black hair is threaded with gray. He wears glasses.
He may not be a stud, but Greg Godek is incredibly sexy. Not because of his looks, which might be described as ``cute in a teddy bear kind of way,'' but because of what he does.
Penning poems and love notes to his wife and mailing them to her at work. Clipping romantic comic strips and double-entendre newspaper headlines. Buying her lingerie for no particular reason. Surprising her with bed-and-breakfast weekends - again, for no particular reason.
All this after five years, six months and four days of marriage. (Isn't it romantic that he knows this?)
Godek's got the kind of romantic, sensitive soul most women are convinced doesn't exist in a man. A sensitivity that led him to recommend in his book, ``1001 Ways to Be Romantic,'' that men write the date of their lover's menstrual cycle on their calendars - then do something special for her during that time.
The kind of imagination that impels him to put a tiny red heart on his watch - a reminder to call his wife to say he loves her frequently.
The kind of dedication to romance that has resulted in a room filled with file cabinets in his Boston home - all stuffed with romance ideas.
Godek was in Norfolk recently at the start of a two-year, 250-city tour to promote his book, one of six he's written about love and romance.
With today's holiday, we thought it the perfect time to grab the romance Romeo and pick his brain. But first, we had to talk to the one person who would know if Godek followed his own liturgy - his wife, Tracey.
The woman must love this man. She recently quit her job as a physical therapist in Boston, rented out the couple's house and bought a 36-foot recreational vehicle painted with a 12-foot-tall picture of a kissing couple in which to travel the country spreading the doctrine of romance (and selling the book).
Yes, she says most emphatically, her husband is romantic.
The most romantic thing he's ever done? Arranged for her to have an afternoon off from work (without her knowledge), packed a bag, picked her up at work, blindfolded her and whisked her off for a weekend at a Nantucket bed and breakfast.
But Godek's message is that romance doesn't have to be big and expensive; it can be as simple as scraping the ice off your lover's car on a snowy morning - without being asked. Or stuffing her suitcase with chocolate bars before she goes on a business trip. Or baking him a 2-foot-wide chocolate-chip cookie.
``Romance is the action step of love,'' Godek says. ``Romance can be taught; love cannot.''
And Godek is the one to teach it. He got into the romance business 15 years ago, after bragging to a woman at a cocktail party that he was the most romantic guy around. She challenged him to prove it. The woman organized adult-education classes, so Godek signed up to lead one on romance.
Today, Godek is a full-time romance maven, penning books and articles, a monthly newsletter, appearing on national talk shows, performing his romance rituals.
Everyone can be romantic, he says. And it's his job to ``coach'' the romance out of us.
For starters, forget the typical flowers and candy. Think creative. Think unusual. Think opposite of what you typically do. If you're always late for dates, make an effort to be on time - that's romantic.
Start referring to your wife as ``my bride,'' regardless of how many years you've been married. That's romantic.
Save your ``Just Married'' sign (or make a new one). Tape it to the back windshield of your car before taking a drive. That's romantic.
``We need to get beyond the generic term of romantic,'' Godek says.
Valentines Day is not the most romantic day of the year, he says. Instead, he calls it an ``obligatory romance day,'' like birthdays and anniversaries. True romance happens when it's not called for - like on Groundhog Day.
All right, all right. The fact is, today is Valentines Day. So what does the romance guru recommend?
For starters, treat the day like a real holiday. Take the day off from work. Spend the day in bed. Go to the movies. Go out to dinner. Go dancing. Take a drive. Make love. Go for a walk.
Other ideas:
Replace all the Cheerios with Valentine conversation hearts.
Use the conversation hearts to spell out a love message on the kitchen table.
Greet him at the front door wearing a big red ribbon - and nothing else.
Mail your lover an entire box of kids' valentines.
And, thinking ahead, buy an extra bag of those conversation hearts and use them six months later. MEMO: ``1001 Ways to Be Romantic'' is published by Casablanca Press.
ILLUSTRATION: Color photo by Martin Smith-Rodden
The Godeks' 250-city tour promoting his book included a Norfolk
visit.
by CNB