THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, February 14, 1996 TAG: 9602140386
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B7 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MATTHEW BOWERS, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: PORTSMOUTH LENGTH: Medium: 51 lines
Breathe in. And hold it.
Too many women do that, figuratively, particularly in their relationships with men or children or co-workers.
And it hurts them.
That was the message and the jumping-off point for debate Tuesday night when the Black Women's Health Network at Maryview Medical Center hosted a pre-Valentine's Day group discussion on the book and movie ``Waiting to Exhale.'' The movie, about four women friends and their futile searches for decent relationships with decent men, has prompted much discussion between the sexes, particularly between African-American men and women.
The nerve the movie hit was real.
The network expected 30 participants. More than 85 signed up, and more than 50 actually showed - including seven men - to eat, view clips and talk in small groups about things like power and control, personal fulfillment and searching for love.
And they learned that unhealthy relationships can actually be unhealthy.
Sister Elaine Davia, a Roman Catholic nun and nurse practitioner who runs a free clinic downtown, said more than 70 percent of the patients she sees suffer from stress-related maladies, caused by poverty, family problems and, often, troubled relationships.
People who internalize their problems - ``inhale'' only - can suffer headaches, stomach problems, high blood pressure and yo-yo blood-sugar levels, Davia said. They often don't eat, exercise or sleep right. They use drinking, smoking and sex as diversions - as did the women in the movie.
But those who honestly face their problems and talk, argue, laugh or even cry about them - ``exhale'' - can experience physical healing without further treatment.
Deborah I. Freeman and Lee E. Bond Jr. of Norfolk attended because they've discussed ``Waiting to Exhale'' - and disagreed on how to react in relationships - and wanted to see what others were saying.
An example: Big dramatic scene. Angry Bernadine burns man's car, sells all his stuff for $1.
Bond, being ``pragmatic,'' said no way. ``I would have sold it at cost. Or half-price,'' he said.
``I view it just the opposite,'' countered Freeman.
``I thought she was venting. It was good for her.''
OK. Now breathe out. by CNB