THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, March 4, 1996 TAG: 9603020051
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E3 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: Medium: 83 lines
SHORTLY AFTER the new year, I cobbled a column that regretted the loss of good manners in this country.
I was surprised by the mail I received. All of it favorable. One reader merely enclosed the clipped column, scrawling ``RIGHT ON!'' across it. That's a lot better than my usual mail. I often open a letter to find one of my columns inside, stapled to a scrap of paper inked with a brief message:
``An idiot is writing this garbage under your name. Thought you'd want to know!''
One of the approving notes was from Chuck Hudson, a graphic artist in Virginia Beach, who kindly enclosed information about a man and group in England whose mission is to revive good manners around the world.
It's called The Polite Society. The logo for the society is a man tipping his hat. The motto is: Good Manners Cost Nothing and Profit Everybody.
The organization's patron-in-chief is the Duke of Devonshire. A patron is the famous British actor Sir John Gielgud.
Founded by the Rev. Ian Gregory, rector of a church in the Midlands of England, near Newcastle under Lyme, the society is 10 years old and has about 1,500 members in 25 countries.
I reached the Rev. Gregory by phone at his home in Basford last week. He surprised me by bemoaning the loss of politeness in his country.
There are so many examples, he said. ``Taxi drivers once got out of their vehicles and helped you put luggage in the boot (trunk). Few do it now,'' he said.
He said he recently accompanied friends to a hotel where the management boasted of having spent many thousands of dollars on improvements to the physical surroundings.
The improvements didn't extend to the help. ``The staff didn't smile once all day,'' he noted. ``The money would have been better spent on interpersonal relations.''
He was really getting into it now, like a man who had spit on his hands before gripping an ax.
His countrymen have become surly and unwilling to be of service, and the upper classes, which once set examples of politeness in his country, no longer do it, he said.
``Now, even the royal family has its buffoons,'' he chided. ``People become confused and take as examples football players and pop artists who pride themselves on vulgar and aggressive attitudes.''
Good manners, he said, are not confined to the drawing room. ``We could dramatically reduce the numbers injured or killed on the road. Forty percent of road accidents are caused by a simple lack of considerate driving,'' he said.
He noted that we are living in a world in which doors open automatically, and people bank in holes in walls and isolate themselves behind computer terminals. It's also a noisier world, which is not improved by people who play their car and portable radios at the highest volume. ``People need to lower the volume and raise the tone,'' he quipped.
``People don't know how to smile, listen or treat others with respect,'' he insisted.'' Part of the problem, he agreed, is the disintegration of family life in homes where both parents are away at work.
Gregory said the politeness his organization promotes has nothing to do with etiquette. ``It's possible to tip your hat with one hand and someone's pocket with the other,'' he said.
Courtesy is also good business, he argued, saying: ``People who are courteous are more likely to listen to others and have better control of a situation. They do better in business and personal relationships and certainly in their love life.''
The Polite Society takes note of businesses that are ``courteous enterprises'' - hairdressers, dentists, coat makers, whatever - and rewards them with certificates and window stickers showing they have adopted the society's standards.
If you'd like to be part of The Polite Society, you can become a life member for $30 or an associate member for whatever you choose to donate. The society has neckties ($15) or T-shirts ($20) imprinted with the society motif. To join, place orders, or more information, write:
The Rev. Ian Gregory, 18, The Avenue, Basford, Newcastle under Lyme, Staffordshire ST5 OLY, United Kingdom.
Theenks very much, Chuck. And if you write the rev, tell him old teacup fingers sentcha. by CNB