THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, March 13, 1996 TAG: 9603130651
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BOB MOLINARO
LENGTH: Medium: 68 lines
Here's the perfect college basketball quiz for time-starved readers who are hurrying to fill out their NCAA pairings sheets; every question comes with its own answer:
Q: Why are Clemson and Georgia, about an hour's drive apart, traveling to Albuquerque, N.M., to meet in the first round?
A: For the frequent-flier miles.
Q: Is it true that UMass coach John Calipari never stops fidgeting on the sidelines?
A: He makes the Energizer Bunny look like a still-life painting.
Q: Now that Duke brings two soccer players off the bench, what can we expect from the Blue Devils in their first-round game?
A: They just might kick it away.
Q: What's the difference between Bobby Knight today and when he led Indiana to the national championship in 1976?
A: About 30 pounds.
Q: Who is the best player in this year's NCAA tournament?
A: Most likely, whoever picks Kentucky in the office pool.
Q: Competing in a single-elimination tournament is the most pressure a college player ever faces, right?
A: Either that or an algebra question on the SATs.
Q: What's the best way to stay really close to the action?
A: Hop a plane to Las Vegas.
Q: How important is it to have momentum going into the tournament?
A: It's more important to have Allen Iverson going into the tournament.
Q: What will fans feel like after watching the Arizona Wildcats, Kentucky Wildcats, Kansas State Wildcats, Villanova Wildcats, Western Carolina Catamounts and Cincinnati Bearcats?
A: Probably cat-atonic.
Q: Is it true that there aren't any real losers in the tournament?
A: In '96, it's called downsizing.
Q: Why are Alexander Koul and Serge Zwikker two centers to watch?
A: They may end up as the opening act for Sigfried and Roy.
Q: What is North Carolina's biggest tournament rival?
A: The Tar Heels' own legacy.
Q: Why is Princeton included in the Field of 64?
A: So that PBS will have highlights to show.
Q: What are NCAA officials doing now that Jerry Tarkanian's Fresno State team failed to qualify for the tournament?
A: Cartwheels.
Q: Which team would give Kentucky the toughest game in the Midwest Region?
A: Its own second string.
Q: What is Penn State doing in the tournament?
A: Waiting for someone to rename it the Road to Pasadena.
Q: At the Final Four in East Rutherford, N.J., will every seat at the Continental Airlines Arena be filled?
A: Except for the one left vacant for Jimmy Hoffa.
Q: What should we know about Colgate?
A: Regular flavor or tartar control gel.
Q: Does Dick Vitale have an opinion of the top seeds?
A: He thinks they're a scream.
Q: What are the odds that UNC-Greensboro will advance to the second round?
A: There's a better chance that Billy Packer will be asked by Georgetown to teach a class in anthropology. by CNB