THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, March 15, 1996 TAG: 9603130194
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 08B EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Teens At Large
SOURCE: BY JEWELL BURCHETTE, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 79 lines
True love waits
That's a joke.
This was the reaction from many of the 16 students who this winter zoomed down to Nags Head in a little Zion Baptist Church van for three days of contemplation about what it means to save sex until marriage. Many came along to get away from home, others came to learn something new and others were just plain confused.
At first, most of the group didn't want to open up. They busied themselves by talking, saying they felt that there was no way to be able to keep a promise to God such as this. They said that there are temptations out there that step in their path. They said that they were not strong enough to hold on.
But then they learned that they didn't have to be involved in sexual activities to show that they love a person.
``We can have fun without a sexual thing, it can be a platonic relationship,'' said Stacey Fletcher, 15, a sophomore at Western Branch High School.
The lessons and workshops included skits and students picked out Bible verses on how different people in the Bible had committed adultery and fornication.
``For many situations you are put into, there can always be a way out.'' This phrase was repeated over and over by youth advisers Leon Andrew Goodrich, Deborah Colleen Goodrich and Valerie Dansita Jones.
Not only did these youth learn to say ``no'' to sex, but they also learned about the differences in personalities between the sexes. Girls were able to ask questions about things that they always wanted to know about the opposite sex. For example, why guys have to always act big in front of other guys?
The discussion was lively when it came to what students didn't like about the opposite sex.
One eighth-grader said she doesn't like boys who play too much, act too young and don't take care of themselves.
Later, in rap sessions, students listened intently to each other.
On Sunday when it was time to head back to Zion Baptist in Portsmouth, students had a chance to sign pledge cards that would be sent to Atlanta, where they would be added to pledge cards from teens across the nation. There was no pressure; no one had to sign if they didn't want to. Many people didn't.
``I wanted to take some time to think,'' said Mike Piercy, 18, a graduate of Churchland High School. ``I felt that would be pledging myself too soon.''
Others said that they couldn't go in front of church and take their vow, and that they didn't want other people in the church in their business.
Those who did sign the pledge later took part in a ceremony.
The four youth, dressed in white robes, stood with their parents and youth advisers listening to Deborah Colleen Goodrich praise them for the courage it takes to stand up in church and pledge themselves until marriage.
Then they repeated the words: ``We stand here today and believe that true love waits . . . . We reaffirm our commitment to God, ourselves, our friends, our family, our future mate and future children. Our commitment is to stay sexually pure from this day forward until the day we enter a biblical marriage relationship.''
Three girls and one young man spoke confidently as they stood in front of the congregation. They did not pay attention to other youth who were laughing. They stood firm in their beliefs.
``It is a value that I always had and I just didn't make the decision'' until now, said Brandy Reese, 16, a Norcom High junior who made the pledge.
The 12 retreat participants who didn't pledge said they were going to try to stay sexually pure. They said that they just felt better about making a pledge in their minds than to make one, sign a paper and then break it.
Despite the fact that only four of the 16 youths on the retreat took the pledge, church leaders said it would inspire others to follow their example. ILLUSTRATION: ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jewell Burchette is a senior at Ocean Lakes High School.
KEYWORDS: PURITY CHASTITY by CNB