THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, March 31, 1996 TAG: 9604020477
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E6 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ANN G. SJOERDSMA
LENGTH: Long : 110 lines
AND THE winner(s) is (are) . . . drum roll, please, with sharpened No. 2 pencils and fat, unused erasers . . . its/it's.
Egregious, simply egregious.
I anted up the 20 bucks for membership, got my first newsletter from the Society for the Preservation of English Language and Literature (SPELL), and there it (they) was (were).
Its. It's. Oh, the abuse. Oh, the commonness of it all.
Atop every ``most wanted'' list in every English language precinct in the country, the notorious its/it's won SPELL's 1995 ``Egregious Error Award,'' hands down. Who/ whom didn't come close. That/ which paled in comparison.
It's a sign of the times. I hope the recognition doesn't go to its head.
If you have trouble distinguishing ``its,'' the possessive pronoun, from ``it's,'' the contraction for ``it is'' and ``it has,'' listen up. The grammar police - the 1,600 members of SPELL - are onto you. And they're - we're - not gonna take it anymore. No more goofs. Learn your ABC's and your its and it's!
Oh, I know what you're thinking: Where does a journalist get off criticizing other people about grammatical faux pas? What nerve, eh?
Well, you have a point there. Newspapers are rife with errors, and many of them can't be passed off as typos - though the disingenuous among us try.
But, believe it or not, some journalists do still care about grammar, spelling and punctuation. Some of us know the difference between who and whom, worse and worst, affect and effect, that and which, infer and imply, predominately and predominantly, between and among, further and farther, lie and lay, . . . ad nauseam.
Some of us even know how to make our verbs agree with our subjects. It's friendlier that way.
And some of us dial 911 for language and join league with the non-profit SPELL, whose main claim to fame is issuance of ``Goof Cards.'' Sent by members to written- and spoken-language abusers, the cards cite errors and offer ``constructive criticism.''
Though SPELL vice president Richard Lederer, a language commentator on National Public Radio and author of ``Anguished English'' and ``Crazy English,'' doesn't explain the its/it's conundrum in the organization's newsletter, he does offer some choice examples of misuse, including:
This sentence on the label of a Heinz 57 bottle: ``Its' unique tangy blend of herbs and spices bring out the natural taste of the steak.''
An English class of middle schoolers from Greenville, S.C., spotted the two errors here - its' and the (singular) subject/(plural) verb disagreement - and wrote to the Heinz Co., which promised to change the label.
(Note: If you missed ``blend'' as the subject, genuflect three times before your CD-ROM and order ``Strunk & White'' in the morning.)
This claim on boxes of Kellogg's Crispix: ``That's because it's toasted corn side and tasty rice side help Kellogg's Crispix stay crisp.''
No word on whether the Battle Creek folks, who correctly paired their subject and verb, amended this error. But oy, what a sentence! I hope the cereal is crisper.
This headline on the cover of Change, ``the magazine of higher learning'': ``Improving Productivity: What Faculty Think About It - And It's Effect on Higher Learning.''
Higher learning? Faculty? Enough said.
What accounts for the general decline in literacy? For the rise in ``permissive'' - read ``sloppy'' - language usage? Is it ignorance, laziness or lack of interest? How about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll?
Did the post-1960s educational movement emphasizing self-expression and creativity over rules and precision give rise to the decline? What part do television and technology play?
Not being an educator, I can only guess at the causes: all of the above and more.
Which is not to say that English should stagnate. (Or be written only in complete sentences.) English is a ``living'' language. It does, and should, evolve. But not without challenges, tests and good reasons. We don't need any more babble.
I figure until you know the rules, you can't break 'em. You can only commit egregious errors, sully the already tarnished name of journalism and incur the wrath of SPELL.
But once you know the rules and how to creatively break them . . . aaaaahhh, then the real fun begins. MEMO: Ann G. Sjoerdsma is a lawyer and book editor of The Virginian-Pilot. ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
TEST YOUR WORD SKILLS
Take a SPELL* test. Choose the correct word or words from the
following sentences. Answers appear below:
1. Having coffee and the newspaper brought to my room (is/are) a
service I like in a hotel.
2. Peanut butter is one of those foods that (is/are) rich in
protein and free of cholesterol.
3. When we saw it, the alligator was (laying/lying) in the sun.
It continued to (lie/lay) there for about 15 minutes before sliding
into the water.
4. The messenger was instructed to give the package to
(whomever/whoever) answered the doorbell.
5. The president was (loath/loathe) to commit the country to
further involvement in the conflict.
6. The alphabet (comprises/is comprised of) 26 letters.
7. Let's stop here for (a while/awhile) before we go
(further/farther) up the mountain. When we reach the top, we'll rest
(a while/awhile) before coming down.
8. It might help you to get the job if I speak to the manager
(on/in) your behalf.
9. Either the twins or John (was/were) responsible for the mess.
10. This is the car (that/which) we saw in the parking lot.
Answers: 1) is; 2) are; 3) lying, lie; 4) whoever; 5) loath; 6)
comprises; 7) a while, farther, awhile; 8) in; 9) was; 10) that.
* You may contact the Society for the Preservation of English
Language and Literature at P.O. Box 118, Waleska, Ga. 30183.
by CNB