THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, April 5, 1996 TAG: 9604050036
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Listen Up
SOURCE: Karen Baranski and Vorando Mack
LENGTH: Medium: 59 lines
Dear Karen and Vorando,
I am 12 years old and I am always left alone in the house while my mother goes out with her boyfriend. I tried explaining to her that I get scared and want her there with me, but she doesn't seem to listen. What else can I do? - Neglected
Dear Neglected,
Talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, another family member or neighbor, let someone know immediately that you are being neglected.
If no one responds, call the police the next time you've been left alone and feel afraid.
Child neglect is an inhuman form of abuse that can be inflicted in the slightest manner yet carry the worst long-term effects. It can interfere in several aspects of your life.
Parents might not realize that their kids need - or want - more attention. They might sit their children in front of Sega and Barney for long periods of time, not realizing the kids really want to spend time with the parents.
In your case, your mother might need to rearrange her priorities so that you aren't left alone and feel neglected.
And you must take action, said Judith W. Homsher, a licensed clinical social worker with Fairfield Psychological Associates in Virginia Beach.
``A neglected child should talk to a trusted adult such as a minister, a guidance counselor or a family member,'' Homsher said. ``Legally, a guidance counselor will have to react.''
Once the situation is reported, a social worker will be sent to the home to investigate. A social worker can help in a variety of ways, such as finding counseling for the family and getting the parents into classes where they can learn to be better parents.
Homsher added that many child-neglect cases go unreported and that adults and other kids should be aware of some signs, including inappropriate dress (dirty clothes, disheveled clothes caused by a young child having to dress himself) and poor hygiene, such as head lice and unbrushed teeth. The child also might be depressed and complain of not wanting to go home.
These signs require attention, which is what the neglected child needs.
Communication is the key. If you cannot speak with your parents, contact your guidance counselor. Tell the adult how it feels to be left alone and how it bothers you.
We know it's difficult. You did an excellent job in speaking up. Congratulations and good luck.
MEMO: Vorando Mack is a senior at Norview High School and Karen Baranski is a
senior at Green Run High School. Their column appears biweekly in
Teenology. You can ask questions by calling INFOLINE at 640-5555 and
entering category 8335, or write to them at Listen Up!, 4565 Virginia
Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va. 23462.
by CNB