THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, April 7, 1996 TAG: 9604050185
SECTION: CHESAPEAKE CLIPPER PAGE: 10 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JOHN-HENRY DOUCETTE, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 73 lines
Caregivers are not health care professionals.
In most cases, they care for disabled or ill loved ones incapable of caring for themselves. Sometimes caregivers parent their own parents or spoon-feed a spouse who can no longer recognize them.
One caregiver is Chesapeake's Mary Anne, here identified by first name only to protect her confidentiality.
Mary Anne recently pulled into a store parking lot to do some shopping with her 90-year-old mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Mary Anne's mother began having dry heaves, and the daughter sought aid inside the store. A clerk called 911.
By the time medics arrived in a flurry of lights and sirens, the mother's episode had passed. Mary Anne's situation changed from scary to awkward as she persuaded the medics that her mother was well enough to be taken home and not to a hospital.
Said Mary Anne of caring for her ill parent, ``You never know what to expect next.''
On the first Friday of every month, she is one of more than 30 local caregivers who bring their difficulties to a support group that has served people like them in Chesapeake since 1983. In the often unpredictable lives of these people, each meeting is a stable place to share and listen. Though 30-plus frequent these meetings, there is no exact number of caregivers in this city.
According to Carolyn W. Savinsky, the registered nurse who oversees the meetings, many local caregivers see the group as a ``monthly fix'' of support, and all who provide care are welcome to join them.
``It's good for them to come here and share their stories and concerns with others who are in the same situation,'' said Savinsky. ``I think it's a lifeline for caregivers who are frequently isolated. Their network of friends may not necessarily understand what they're going through.''
When Elizabeth first came to the group, she did so at the urging of her husband, whom she cared for at home. ``He used to say, `Mm, Sweetheart, I'm a lucky man to have you,'' said Elizabeth. ``He didn't want to be a burden. He wanted me to come here.''
Elizabeth, who herself now relies on a cane, continues to come to the caregiver meetings despite her husband's death several years ago. She uses her experiences to help others in the group, like when Elva's husband, suffering from lung cancer and a brain tumor that caused symptoms similar to Alzheimer's, began falling down. Elva said she was too small to get her husband upright by herself and didn't want to call an ambulance.
Elva said, ``Elizabeth would say, `Call the police.' '' Though Elva never needed an officer's assistance in getting her husband up and about, she said, ``It helped me to know that I could do that. Hearing her experiences helps us. It offers perspective.''
``The group was there for me,'' said Elizabeth, ``and I can give so much advice.''
The March meeting was the first for William, a retired Portsmouth man who cares for his wife at home with the help of a nurse. He attended on the suggestion of his daughter and said he would probably participate in more meetings. ``I gained some new ideas,'' said William.
``Members learn practical solutions from people who have been there,'' Savinsky said. ``This is a way for a caregiver to learn that they're not alone.'' MEMO: The support group is sponsored by the Chesapeake Health Department. The
group meets at two Chesapeake locations on the first Friday of each
month, at the Chesapeake Health Department Library at 748 Battlefield
Blvd. North from 10 a.m. to noon, and at the Russell Memorial Library at
2808 Taylor Road from 2 to 4 p.m. Carolyn Savinsky can be reached for
additional information at 436-8644.
by CNB