THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, April 19, 1996 TAG: 9604190058
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E9 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: LISTEN UP
SOURCE: BY KAREN BARANSKI AND VORANDO MACK, TEEN ADVICE COLUMNISTS
LENGTH: Medium: 53 lines
Dear Karen and Vorando: I'm 18 years old and I go to Granby High in Norfolk. I was just beaten up by my boyfriend. I can't leave him because I'm scared for my life and my child's life, even though I live with him. I have nowhere else to go and I'm scared he'll kill me. What can I do? - Abused
Dear Abused: Renate Saunders, a counselor with the YWCA's Women-In-Crisis Helpline in Norfolk, urges that you contact their 24-hour hotline immediately.
``We need to determine where she stands emotionally. Is it that she can't leave because she really can't leave or is she so emotionally attached to him that she can't leave?'' Saunders asked.
``Intellectually, many women know it isn't a good relationship for them, but the emotions often override the intellect,'' Saunders said. ``But she needs to know the cycle of domestic violence will not end.''
The Women-In-Crisis Helpline and shelter, as well as other battered-women's centers in the area, take in women and children who have nowhere to go. They can provide you with food, clothing and temporary shelter until you can find a better, safer place to live.
Can you leave the home, as if going to school, yet call the shelter and go there? The shelter will help you with transportation. Go to school, talk to a counselor or a teacher, and they will help you connect with a shelter.
If you aren't ready to leave yet, hotline counselors can help you devise a plan for leaving. Just call them.
Tips usually include packing and hiding a small overnight bag with clothes for you and your child and stashing away extra money just in case you need to leave in a hurry.
You can also go to a support group and call the hotline to get support until you are ready to leave your boyfriend.
We know that this is a tough time for you. You might be ashamed and embarrassed about what has happened to you, but realize that the abuse is not your fault; your boyfriend has the problem.
Remember your key priorities - safety for yourself and for your son.
To reach the Women-In-Crisis Helpline, call 625-5570. MEMO: Vorando Mack is a senior at Norview High School and Karen Baranski is a
senior at Green Run High School. Their column appears biweekly in
Teenology. You can ask questions by calling INFOLINE at 640-5555 and
entering category 8335, or write to them at Listen Up!, 4565 Virginia
Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va. 23462.
by CNB