THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, May 3, 1996                    TAG: 9605030047
SECTION: DAILY BREAK              PAGE: E9   EDITION: FINAL 
COLUMN: LISTEN UP
                                             LENGTH: Short :   49 lines

BE HONEST WITH PRESENT AND FORMER GIRLFRIENDS

DEAR KAREN AND Vorando,

About eight months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of about five months. Although it was short, we went through a lot together before we even became a couple. Now, I'm seeing another girl who is very sweet and makes me feel appreciated and very special.

My ex has been calling me and leaving me messages or just simply says, ``Hello.'' Now, I miss her and I just want to see her once, but I don't want to get caught up in an emotional mess that will mislead us both into believing we'll be together again.

I want the girl I'm seeing but I miss my ex. - Senior in Norfolk

Dear Senior in Norfolk: Whose happiness are you more concerned about? Your present ``friend's,'' your ex's or your own?

Your ex might be missing the pleasant company you could have brought her, and she might want to start over fresh and see what you can produce as a couple. The invitation to a new friendship with her may sound appealing but wouldn't you want to explore and discover new emotions and experiences with the young lady you're seeing?

It's gratifying that your ex kept in touch, but be fair to your friend. You might be happy either way you go, but your ex and your friend could be hurt or offended.

The present friend you have makes you feel ``appreciated and very special,'' also she's ``sweet.'' Give your friend and yourself a chance at a relationship and a progressing friendship. You would never want to let go of someone who made you feel ``very special.'' You never know what you might be missing.

Establish some common ground and guidelines for any friendship between you and your ex. Make sure she knows that you're interested in the young lady you're presently seeing. Also, inform your friend about the relationship with your ex. MEMO: Vorando Mack is a senior at Norview High School and Karen Baranski is a

senior at Green Run High School. Their column appears biweekly in

Teenology. You can ask questions by calling INFOLINE at 640-5555 and

entering category 8335, or write to them at Listen Up!, 4565 Virginia

Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va. 23462.

by CNB