The Virginian-Pilot
                             THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Sunday, May 5, 1996                    TAG: 9605010057
SECTION: REAL LIFE                PAGE: K1   EDITION: FINAL 
COLUMN: MY JOB
SOURCE: BY KRYS STEFANSKY, STAFF WRITER 
                                             LENGTH: Medium:   82 lines

THIS DOCTOR'S PRACTICE IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT BUSINESS IS BOOMING THIS SPRING FOR WISE-CRACKING ALLERGIST JOHN CARLSTON.

A CIVIL WAR-ERA amputation kit lies at the ready in Dr. John A. Carlston's office.

Could be, in the case of terminal hay fever, this allergist might offer to cut off a patient's drippy, leaky, stuffy nose and end the torture.

A treatment not in any current medical books. Neither is the nearby antique vibrator with the hand crank - a gadget once believed to cure catarrh and asthma.

Hey, relax. Carlston hasn't tried either one on his sneezing, wheezing, itching patients.

Doesn't have to. This specialist doesn't even keep a box of Kleenex in his office. Just a ready supply of ``Gesundheits,'' and ``Bless you's.''

``My patients don't need Kleenex after they've been seeing me,'' he says with some bravado.

They might need a Band Aid.

``I like to needle people,'' he says.

And they might need a tolerance for corny jokes - like when pine pollen was thick in the air two weeks ago.

``Actually, right now, oak pollen is what's giving people problems. But pine pollen gets the blame, just like husbands.''

The Virginia Beach M.D., in practice with Allergy and Asthma Specialists Ltd., studied at Yale. There were no tests or exams, just what he calls a staggering responsibility for all the material covered.

``It made a scholar out of me,'' says the New York native. ``I turned from a wise guy into a student.''

He looked into cardiology but soon switched over to treating snifflers. Allergic rhinitis, postnasal drip, itchy throat and watery eyes held him in their thrall.

Add to that a personal interest in the field. He suffers from a little hay fever himself and says he's allergic to women.

Just kidding about the women.

He moved to the Beach in 1969 after a stint at Walter Reed Army Hospital during the Vietnam war.

This is an interesting area for allergies, says Carlston whose office is filled with medical antiques and old apothecary jars.

Twice a year, his business really booms - once during the allergy seasons of late August and September and again in spring, in March and April.

Here, there's enough ragweed, grass pollen and mold spore to keep him guessing.

Over the years, he's totted up a few silly stories on the job. There's the one about the beefy pro football tackle who came in to be tested. He got one look at Carlston's needles and passed out cold on the floor. Then there was the circus lion tamer who was allergic to cats. And the blind man Carlson treated who was allergic to his seeing eye dog, ``That was like Job - Why me, Lord?''

But his favorite, says this grandfather times five, was the 15-year-old girl who wanted to weasel out of taking gym at school because of her asthma.

``So I told her about Teddy Roosevelt and how he exercised his way out of asthma and she said, `Oh, did you take care of him, too?' ''

About 28 percent of people have allergies and an inherited tendency to be allergic.

``Children are over-referred, but that's because you'll do anything for your child. Women come in about right, husbands have to be dragged in and the poorest patients of all are physicians,'' Carlston says.

He says he doesn't tire of being sneezed on because the field is so rewarding.

Nine out of ten people can be helped, no problem.

``Of course you have ten percent you have to work harder on. The hardest one of all to figure out is hives,'' he says. ``I don't think we help half the people who have hives. That's because all kinds of diseases can cause them.''

But Carlston can usually find the answer - without getting out the hand-crank vibrator. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

RICHARD L. DUNSTON/The Virginian-Pilot

``My patients don't need Kleenex after they've been seeing me,'' Dr.

John A. Carlston says.

by CNB