THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, May 12, 1996 TAG: 9605100200
SECTION: CHESAPEAKE CLIPPER PAGE: 14 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY JANELLE LA BOUVE, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 199 lines
CATHERINE BLACKWOOD LIKES to set herself goals for self-improvement. Her current ambition is to develop more patience. As the mother of 10 children, Blackwood has an unending need for that particular virtue.
Her family says her scores in the patience department are already high.
Recently, her eldest came home for the summer from Kings College, in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
``In my mom, there's a constancy of love,'' said Stephen Blackwood, 20. ``Her life is lived selflessly toward her children. She makes daily sacrifices. One of her most remarkable qualities is that she is always there for me in every circumstance.''
Naomi Blackwood, an 18-year-old senior at Great Bridge High School, said her mother has a knack for doing many things at once - cleaning house, while disciplining kids, while making supper.
As Naomi, the eldest of Blackwood's two daughters described her mom, 4-year-old Anna stood beneath a large backyard trampoline rubbing her blond head and complaining that an older brother's jumping was hitting her.
About that time, mom gently coaxed Anna to escape under-trampoline dangers.
``Mom is good at balancing her life and giving each child the amount of attention he or she needs,'' Naomi said. ``Each child needs to be raised a little differently. She is good at catering to everyone.
``She never really thinks of herself,'' Naomi said. ``She is very thoughtful of others.''
Jesse, a 14-year-old student at Great Bridge Middle School South, agrees that patience is his mother's outstanding characteristic.
``She has a lot more than I would have,'' said Jesse.
In 1994, the Blackwood family moved from Prince Edward Island, Canada, to Chesapeake after Robert Blackwood was recruited to become a family practitioner in Virginia Beach.
Robert Blackwood acknowledges that his wife's contributions to the family go beyond how she deals with the daunting tasks of mothering so many children.
``Cathy has made me what I am,'' said Robert Blackwood. ``She has made great sacrifices for my career. She's as capable of being a physician as I am. But she has chosen to be a mom and wife. That involves a big sacrifice.
``I think the family is the character factory of society,'' he added. ``Cathy's character and individual qualities have been recreated in her children and in me to a large extent.''
Rearing each of their children to have patience, to be loving and kind and to have a strong moral character is important to both parents.
``There's a lot of work involved in that,'' he said. ``But there's nothing greater. At the end of life, relationships are important as opposed to things.''
There's a note of pride in their answering machine message - ``You have reached the home of the 12 Blackwoods.''
They planned each child. Even after their identical twin boys were born 10 years ago, the couple still wanted more children.
``We always felt like there was room in our hearts for one more,'' she said.
In response to folks who tease them about their large family, the parents may jokingly reply, ``We are the directors of unplanned parenthood.''
Blackwood admits that mothering such a brood is a challenge.
``It's exhilarating and exhausting at the same time, like running a marathon,'' she said. ``It takes everything. And when you're finished, you've accomplished a wonderful thing, but it's exhausting. But then I do get a second wind and away I go.''
Blackwood gives her husband credit for being a wonderful father and a constant source of support.
Having a sense of humor helps, too.
``We try to keep humor in everyday life,'' she said. ``A lot of situations that would be disastrous to others, we try to turn around and laugh about the next day.
``When we all had stomach flu at the same time, we could see the humor in the 12 barfing Blackwoods with their little buckets.''
Mornings, Mom and Dad are up at 6. By 6:30, the 12 are together around the table.
``Not everybody comes down singing `Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,' '' she said. ``But the important thing is that we come together as a family for a devotion. It's really short - from five to 15 minutes.''
Then the children do their family responsibilities and get ready for school.
``We call them family responsibilities because `chores' has a negative connotation, akin to being a slave,'' she said. ``As soon as you can walk and talk you can do something. Everything the children can possibly do, they have to do themselves.''
That includes packing their own lunches, doing the dishes, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning windows, lawn mowing, weeding, taking out the garbage and washing cars.
What's the worst thing about being the mother of such a family?
A two-day road trip, she said.
The next worst is making sure all the homework assignments, report cards and other papers are signed and sent back to school.
``Every day there is this ton of paper work,'' she said. ``I had confess to one teacher that I had lost a report card, and I'm not even a student.''
In the beginning, Blackwood says she has a fairy tale approach to mothering.
``I had not really anticipated all the hills and valleys you have to go through in parenting, mainly because I began as a very young mother,'' she said.
She's keenly aware that parenting requires that discipline be administered with consistency and love.
``Concentrate on the major important things and be flexible with the unimportant or nonessential,'' she said.
She tries to teach her children to take responsibility and to embrace the work ethic.
``We work on a lot of things, such as having respect for other people's property,'' she said. ``We are Christians. Our faith is important to us. Honesty and integrity are important and showing acts of kindness especially to each other. Because if you don't do it at home, you're certainly not going to succeed out in the world.
``I value a person's heart and character,'' she said. ``That is more important than academic success. We encourage our children to have good character.''
Some of the children open up homework when they get home and are overachievers. Others have to be prodded.
``But there's a necessity almost to do well at school,'' she said. ``There's a little competition within the family. We just encourage them to do their best.''
On the lighter side, she wants her children to have fun.
``I'm a real fighter for childhood innocence and trying to renew things we used to do like having hobbies and playing imagination-type games rather than hanging out at the mall,'' she said.
``One thing I love is having many different, unique people in my family, and I love each one in a special way. I think it's wonderful how we're all made so different.''
One of her greatest blessings is the friendships she shares with the older children.
Reinforcement for her hard work comes in the form of kind remarks from teachers and other adults who work with the Blackwood children.
When she does find time to unwind, Blackwood enjoys singing or playing Bach piano preludes and fugues, Haydn sonatas and contemporary Christian music.
In addition to studies in voice and piano at the Conservatory of Music in Toronto, Canada, she majored in music education at the University of Alberta.
She helped put her husband through medical school by teaching piano lessons to lots of children.
Now she uses music all the time with her own children.
``In our family, music is really important,'' said Blackwood, whose husband plays the piano and several other instruments.
Juggling schedules for music lessons, swim classes and other sports keeps her hopping. But buying groceries and preparing meals is an even greater challenge.
``We are always out of something,'' said Blackwood, who buys flour in a 100-pound bag. ``Cereal is horribly expensive. I hate it. If you buy Rice Krispies or corn flakes, the children say there's nothing good to eat. They hate oatmeal, so we have it frequently. It's cheap.''
All of the family's snacks are prepared at home. She bakes French bread from scratch and angel food cakes, brownies and low-fat chocolate chip cookies, which last only a day. The older children bake and everyone 10 and over can prepare Rice Krispies snacks and brownies.
She readily admits that sometimes frustration gets the upper hand.
``We are a cross between `Home Alone' and `The Sound of Music,' '' she said. ``A few times, we have even left a child somewhere.''
The memory of preparing for church one recent Sunday morning is still fresh and painful.
``With all the second-hand shoes, Joseph has about four pairs,'' she said. ``I couldn't find partners to any of them. I felt like throwing all those shoes up in the air and saying, `It's not worth it!' ''
Everywhere she turned that morning at Norfolk's First Baptist Church one of the youngsters was demanding her attention.
``I have a very long rope, but I was at the end of it that day,'' she said.
Blackwood is frequently called upon to share her expertise on running a family. She has been invited to speak at several workshops and institutes on the family.
For the past 1 1/2 years, she has written free lance articles for Focus on the Family and Health Watch magazines. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MORT FRYMAN
Catherine Blackwood takes time to play with her youngest child, 2
1/2-year-old Joseph.
Catherine Blackwood spends a private moment to answer a question for
Timothy, who is 10 years old. ``Her life is lived selflessly toward
her children,'' said Stephen Blackwood, 20. ``She makes daily
sacrifices. One of her most remarkable qualities is that she is
always there for me in every circumstance.''
Graphic
[Box]
The Blackwood Family Mother: Catherine,40
Father: Robert, 43
Children:
Stephen, 20
Naomi, 18
Benjamin,15
Jesse, 14
Michael,10
Timothy,10
Nathan,8
David,6
Anna, 4
Joseph, 2
by CNB