THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, May 23, 1996 TAG: 9605230522
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY PATTI WALSH, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 162 lines
Before Nansemond-Suffolk Academy pitcher Sarah Putnam unleashes her first 60-mph fastball of the afternoon, her coach heads out to the mound and, arms folded, scrutinizes her every warmup. She's ready, so why is he standing behind her?
Whether she likes it or not, he's always behind her.
After all, she's also his daughter.
According to sports psychologist B.F. Lombardo, nearly four million parents in the U.S. coach their kid at one time or other. But few do at the high school level. And it's doubtful many do it with the intensity - and success - of Mike Putnam.
``I'd just like the kids to have the opportunities that I didn't,'' Mike says. ``I know I've pushed them. But all I've wanted for them is to reach for the stars and not limit themselves.''
In his four years at N-SA - three as assistant and one as head coach - the Saints have dominated the TCIS. With dad in the dugout and Sarah on the mound, N-SA has won four straight league titles.
But it hasn't always been a smooth ride.
Sometimes, says Kathleen Putnam, wife of the coach and mother of the star player, softball sends them to opposite ends of the house.
``It's definitely had its ups and downs. I've seen Mike get frustrated and I've seen Sarah get frustrated. Sometimes, I feel my role is that of the mediator. We talk about softball a lot. I try to change the subject.''
That's hard to do in the Putnam household, says Sarah's younger brother, David.
David, a sophomore catcher on the Saints baseball team, says that sometimes his dad's obsession with softball is a little too much to handle.
``I'm kind of glad he's coaching her,'' David says. ``It can get old playing for your dad. My coaches get old sometimes, but I don't have to go home with them.''
Dr. Bill Doyle, a practicing sports psychologist in Virginia Beach, says that coaching a relative can have both positive and negative effects on family dynamics.
``It's obviously good because it enables the parent to pass on passion and enthusiasm,'' Doyle says.
``In most cases, however, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The child's self-esteem is on the line. He or she is being evaluated by both the parent and the coach.''
Sarah Putnam has been calling her coach ``dad'' since she was 10.
``He drives me hard,'' Sarah, now 18, says. ``But he's the one that's taught me all the little things I need to know.
``I guess that's what's good about it. That's one of the big things that got me to college (a scholarship to Maryland). I never asked him to (coach). He wanted to do it.''
Mike Putnam, 49, admits he was ``an average high school baseball player,'' though he's fond of regaling his four children and players with tall tales of his glory days.
Like how he would throw people out from behind his back at shortstop. And the time he scored 47 points in a basketball game, making a shot from half court at the buzzer by tossing in a ball headed out of bounds behind him.
The oldest of seven children, Putnam's parents didn't often see him play. His mother was busy with the children and his father was often away on business.
``I think there's a certain amount of him reliving his playing days,'' Kathleen Putnam says. ``And with the kids, I think he's just trying to get it right the second time around.''
Mike coached his children through youth softball and baseball, youth soccer, and basketball. But when Sarah decided six years ago that playing Division I softball was her goal, he became totally committed to her development.
He looked for the best teams and coaches, but came up short.
``If I would've seen someone else willing to put in the time and effort that I put in to coach her,'' he says, ``I would've let her play for them.''
But it's hard to imagine anyone would have invested the time and effort Putnam has. He's attended countless softball coaching clinics spending, he says, ``thousands of dollars.'' He built a batting cage in the backyard. He started an Amateur Softball Association team, the first in the area.
``It was my job to bring (the other players') level of play up to her's so she could get better,'' he says.
Drawing from less than 300 students, Putnam immediately turned the Saints into a power after becoming an assistant in 1993. This year, Putnam's first as head coach, the Saints are 21-3, thanks to Sarah's 15 victories, including a no-hitter. They've ranked as high as third this year in the South Hampton Roads Softball Poll. N-SA plays Bishop Ireton today in the semifinal round of the Virginia Indepedent Schools state tournament.
While Sarah sometimes says ``I wish he wouldn't spend so much time with me,'' Mike claims the player-coach relationship has made the father-daughter bond better.
``I think it strains the relationship,'' he admits. ``But with the strain, it only gets stronger. You have to push these kids really hard. Sometimes to get them to grow, you have to put them in difficult situations.
``When everything is smooth and rosy, we're not growing.''
Mike takes a similar approach with his team.
When school lets out for the day, he gives his players 15 minutes for braiding hair and girl talk. But when they step on the field, it better be all business.
His in-your-face approach has been known to leave a few of his players in tears.
``It's not that I want to be hard,'' Mike says. ``But to be truly competitive in life, you must be. Dreams, goals, visions, they all have a price to pay.''
But last summer, Sarah questioned whether she wanted to keep paying that price.
Sarah was growing tired of playing for her Dad.
A catcher by trade and at heart - she'll be behind the plate for the University of Maryland next year - Sarah was forced to pitch for Nansemond-Suffolk.
``We didn't have anyone else on the team that could do it,'' she says. ``I've always liked catching better. Dad made me pitch.''
There was also the problem that Mike always seemed to be around. Every which way Sarah turned, she'd find him. Roaming the halls after school. Talking to her friends. Her teachers. At practice. He was invading her turf.
And then there would be the 20-minute ride home to Chesapeake where the conversation was softball.
Enough.
She proposed a transfer to Western Branch, her neighborhood school that has been among the best in Tidewater softball. There, she'd be behind the plate and share the field with most of the girls who were on her summer team. And most importantly, not playing for Dad.
``I thought I should go to Western Branch,'' says Sarah. ``Pitching's not my thing.''
The Putnams met with Western Branch guidance counselors and Sarah's friends at Nansemond-Suffolk even threw her a going-away party.
But at the last minute, the family decided she would stay at N-SA.
``Sarah was not happy,'' Kathleen says. ``She cried a lot and to her, we were very bad.''
Mike was sympathetic to his daughter's desire to play at Western Branch. To a point.
``The thing that was most important to Sarah was that she wanted the opportunity to play at a higher level than what she was used to at Nansemond-Suffolk,'' he says. ``I wanted to send her to Western Branch to catch. But she started at Nansemond-Suffolk and all her friends were there.
``Kathleen and I had a moral obligation to Nansemond-Suffolk. We finish what we start. The decision was more ours than Sarah's.''
Today or Friday, Sarah Putnam will play her last game for her dad. She has a 76-14 record, 785 strikeouts, and a 1.96 ERA. She has surrendered just 202 hits in 537.2 innings. At bat, she crafted a .487 average, with 132 RBIs. She is a four-time TCIS player of the year, a four-time all-state player and a two-time All-Tidewater selection.
``All the credit goes to the coach,'' Sarah says. ``He's a good coach and he knows what he's talking about.''
With Sarah's graduation approaching, brother David knows it's only a matter of time before his dad throws his heart and soul into N-SA baseball.
``My time is coming,'' he says.
As for Sarah, this summer she's off to Vienna, Va., to play with the Shamrocks, an ASA team that finished No. 4 in the nation last summer.
In August, she heads for Maryland where she'll play fall ball and be sure to catch a glimpse of dad sporting his new Terrapins gear in the stands.
``I think she's really going to grow leaps and bounds when she goes to Maryland,'' Mike says. ``It's going to be someone else that makes her stronger.
``I'll be able to sit back in a lawn chair and watch her and just enjoy. And when she makes an error, I'm just going to laugh.
``Finally I'm just going to get to be the dad.'' ILLUSTRATION: [Color Photo]
MICHAEL KESTNER
The Virginian-Pilot
Nansemond-Suffolk Academy softball pitcher Sarah Putnam says of her
coach/dad, Mike: ``He knows what he's talking about.''
KEYWORDS: PROFILE by CNB