THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, June 2, 1996 TAG: 9605310210
SECTION: CHESAPEAKE CLIPPER PAGE: 10 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ERIC FEBER, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 134 lines
Editor's note: The stories and quotations from the Overspenders Anonymous members in this story are real but their names have been changed to protect their privacy.
Last week Jane slipped. She bought bed sheets.
Sitting in front of the group at the Consumer Credit Counseling Service office on North Battlefield Boulevard, Jane talked about her transgression.
She took money earmarked for other family things and bought new sheets for the entire house. Even though she hadn't bought new sheets for the past 11 years, Jane still felt guilty. She felt she had slipped. She didn't discuss the purchase with her husband, she just went out and bought them.
Jane was confessing at a recent Overspenders Anonymous meeting.
Even though Jane thought she stumbled, her recent slip was mild compared to her earlier troubles.
Years ago, with plastic in hand, Jane would assault the malls.
``At first I had a problem with clothes shopping,'' she said. ``I would get a $100 clothes allowance but with cash in hand I would then charge all my purchases. But I usually ended up charging about $400. Then I'd use the cash to buy myself some earrings. Then I went from clothes shopping to buying jewelry. Not costume jewelry but the real thing - expensive things.''
Jane signed up for every mall jewelry store credit card she could. It was easy, she said. Her husband didn't have to co-sign or even know about them.
``Stores gave me anywhere from $2,500 to $5,000 worth of credit,'' she said. ``Soon I was charging jewelry all the time, and then I began sneaking the stuff home. While I was at work I would go out and charge $1,000 worth of jewelry on my lunch hour. I would wear the jewelry to work and that made me feel good. But soon guilt started creeping in.''
As the bills began pouring in, Jane and her husband began to fight and scream about the debts she was piling up. And pile up they did.
``I finally ended up about $63,000 in debt,'' she said shaking her head.
That's when Jane knew she needed help.
She met with Sharon Neuhaus, a credit counselor with the non-profit Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Virginia.
Neuhaus has 17 years of experience in helping people get out from credit card debt and teaching people ways to develop and successfully work from sensible financial budgets.
Consumer Credit Counseling Service offers free debt-counseling services. Funds to run the service come from the credit card companies, who see the company as an effective way to regain lost money. The service requires clients to give up their credit cards and adhere to a monthly debt payment schedule. In the meantime, Neuhaus contacts the credit card companies about her client's plan and many times can even get them to reduce or even eliminate future interest payments on the debt.
Jane knew she had a problem. Like hardened gamblers and alcoholics, she had a compulsion, an obsession with shopping. She knew she needed to join a support group.
``There was no such group in existence,'' Neuhaus said. ``And after 17 years of working with clients I could clearly see the need. Many people out there have a problem shopping or spending money. Shopping is an incredible obsession with many people. It's credit card shopping, catalog shopping and all those television shopping services. People get hooked on them. A group was needed.''
Neuhaus said she sees five to eight clients a day. Out of that number she said at least one will admit to a spending or shopping problem.
Jane and another woman with the same problem finally formed C-SOS (Compulsive Shoppers OverSpenders). They made up posters to get others to join and met in Norfolk. Later the group was threatened with the loss of a meeting place.
``I dragged my supervisor to one of the meetings,'' Neuhaus said. ``We needed to rescue these folks. So I asked the state director of the counseling service for permission to sponsor the group. He agreed and we changed the name to Overspenders Anonymous.''
The group was renamed on April 24 and has been meeting at the counseling service's office every Wednesday.
``Later we decided to expand the group to our other Tidewater branches,'' Neuhaus said. ``So after June 10, Overspenders Anonymous meetings will take place at our two Virginia Beach offices, our Portsmouth office and at the Hampton office of Credit Counselors of Tidewater, a new non-profit organization affiliated with the CCCS.''
The weekly meetings follow the 12-step program associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and other support groups.
Each 90-minute meeting begins with Jane reading the 12 steps. Members settle down to talk about their progress, transgressions, problems and obsessions.
There's no real structure or agenda. Meetings usually are spent talking about problems, offering support and reaffirming each individual's resolve to improve. Each meeting ends with members standing in a circle, holding hands and offering a prayer of hope, strength and support.
Last Wednesday's meeting included Jane and four others.
Ellen couldn't resist shopping for bargains, shoes and art supplies. Sue loved books and reading and couldn't help buying books all the time, every time. Her husband Joe felt he needed to buy things to please his wife, even if he couldn't afford them.
``A lot of times we go out and buy things because you're depressed, sad or lonely,'' Ellen said while the other members agreed.
``You do it to build your self-esteem,'' Jane added.
``I now talk to my wife all the time about our finances and budget,'' Joe said. ``We always try to be conscious about our finances. And when we buy something we stop and ask ourselves, `Do I want it or do I need it?' ''
One of the members even felt it may even be easier to be an alcoholic. She said alcoholics need to stay away from bars. But it's tough to stay away from stores or malls. Everyone has to shop and buy things they need. There's too much temptation everywhere.
And it's just too easy to get credit cards, they all said.
``I started using credit cards because they said it was safer, you wouldn't be carrying around any money, but I think I'd have been better off getting mugged,'' Ellen quipped.
``A lot of what we do is on impulse,'' Jane said. ``The impulse never goes away. You just have to try to control it and seek help from others.'' ILLUSTRATION: NEED HELP?
You may need help from Overspenders Anonymous if you exhibit the
following habits:
You've run up excessive bills and debt
You're unable to handle your finances
You buy things because you're depressed or to bolster your
self-esteem
You sneak new purchases into the house
You don't need what you bought
You feel compelled to shop and buy
You rarely use the things you buy
You can't even remember what you've recently purchased
MEETINGS
Overspenders Anonymous, a free self-help support group dealing
with compulsive spending, meets every week at the following South
Hampton Roads locations of the sponsoring Consumer Credit Counseling
Service. All meetings are 6:30-7:30 p.m.
Monday: 6477 College Park Square, The Atrium, Suite 100, Virginia
Beach.
Tuesday: 5606 Portsmouth Blvd., Portsmouth.
Wednesday: 1128 N. Battlefield Blvd., Suite 106, Chesapeake.
Thursday: 1604 Hilltop West Executive Center, Suite 304, Virginia
Beach.
For more information or to join, call 482-1750. by CNB