THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, June 2, 1996 TAG: 9606010021
SECTION: COMMENTARY PAGE: J5 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: KEITH MONROE
LENGTH: 70 lines
It was smart of Bob Dole to take his leave of the Senate, but he seems to have taken leave of his senses at the same time.
There was no way Dole could have continued to campaign for the presidency while remaining the majority leader of the Senate. But that doesn't mean Bob Dole should stop being Bob Dole too.
For 35 years, Dole has been a Washington bigwig. Bill Clinton was 14 when Dole hit town. He was a beltway insider before there was a beltway. Pretending, at this late date, that he's just a country boy from Kansas is absurd.
Yet Dole's first lurch into campaign mode had him ditching the blue suit and power tie for the kind of clothes usually seen on geriatric duffers digging divots at the country club.
No matter how hard he tries, Dole is never going to be casual. He shouldn't even try. Casual looks as foolish on Dole as it did on his idol, Richard Nixon. Remember Nixon walking on the beach in wingtips, popping up on Laugh-in to say ``Sock it to me?'' Ludicrous. And Dole looked equally out of place when he appeared on Letterman, trying hard to be hip and reading his Top 8 list.
It seemed reasonable for Clinton to appear on Arsenio in shades playing ``Heartbreak Hotel'' on sax. But the only plausible equivalent would be for Dole to appear on Lawrence Welk, if he were still alive, to hum his favorite show tune, ``You'll Never Walk Alone.''
Luckily, the public probably doesn't yearn to see presidents on MTV or Howard Stern talking about their taste in underwear. There's no evidence voters are gratified to behold the commander in chief jogging, golfing, swimming, sailing or playing horseshoes. Jefferson, Lincoln, two Roosevelts and a Truman managed to lead without disrobing in public or bantering on talk radio.
Most citizens prefer their presidents with ties neatly knotted hunched over the Oval Office desk trying to stop nuclear proliferation or spur economic growth. Dole would be wise to stick to his work clothes and grown-up concerns and let Clinton try to act 16.
Dole, after all, is a World War II veteran, a man old enough to be a great-grandfather, a frequent flyer on corporate jets, a world champion at Washington's favorite indoor sport - deal cutting. He's an acerbic wit who doesn't suffer fools gladly, a close-to-the-vest prairie character who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. For him to try to disguise his essential nature is pointless. Voters won't be fooled.
Besides, he's running against a man widely regarded as The Great Pretender. And President Clinton's chameleon quality is not his most admired trait. The best strategy for Dole is to contrast his flinty authority with Clinton's synthetic nature.
Instead, Dole seems determined to fake it. He's pretending to be casual. In his resignation speech he spouted someone else's poetry instead of his own lean Kansas prose. He's masquerading as an outsider and adopting views he's never held. As Clinton tries to pretend he's a moderate Republican, Dole seems determined to pretend he's Newt Gingrich. But he isn't.
If Dole has steered by one fixed star, it is fiscal responsibility, balanced budgets and reduced deficits. He's the author of the famous good news/bad news joke about supply side economists. A busload of them went over a cliff. The bad news? Three seats were empty. Dole won in the primaries by campaigning against the deficit-swelling flat-tax ideas of Steve Forbes.
But now Dole is promising to incorporate the views of Forbes and Jack Kemp into his economic platform. He has dropped all pretense of deficit reduction and has gotten into an irresponsible tax-cutting contest with Clinton. Big mistake.
If Dole starts showing up at the grange in bib overalls or toting a Bible at Christian Coalition rallies, he will forfeit his greatest asset. Authenticity. If he gets in a make-believe contest with Clinton, he will deserve to lose. After all, if the choice comes down to two quick change artists, why not go with the expert? MEMO: Mr. Monroe is editor of the editorial page of The Virginian-Pilot. by CNB