THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Monday, June 24, 1996 TAG: 9606220053
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: 72 lines
THE TELEVISION COMMERCIAL that sets the standard for guile is probably the one for the Sea-Doo jet ski. Have you seen it? Shows dolphins diving into the air at the merry prospect of being in the company of a jet ski rider vrooming through the waves.
Dolphins love motorized, noisy, water-churning vehicles that disturb their environment?
Right.
And the Kurds never missed a chance to rub shoulders with that fun-loving Saddam Hussein.
The part of the commercial that rankles me most is near the end where there's a chorus shouting, ``Everybody's doing it!''
Of course everybody is not doing it. The market for the things is next to nothing in the Southwest deserts. And those jet skis cost more than pocket change.
I suspect that less than 5 percent of the population has ever ridden a Sea-Doo.
If you are a Sea-Doo rider, there's nothing personal in this.
After all, pitching something that nobody really needs by saying everybody's doing it is the capitalistic way. And, of course, it puts food on the table of those families with members employed by Sea-Doo.
It is the aim of advertising to convince us that the highway to happiness runs directly through our wallets into the purchase of a car, electrical appliance or whatever.
Fortunately, even in this crass, commercial age, there are still many things that cost little or nothing and give great pleasure.
And it's nice to remember them now and then. Here are some I can think of off the top of my head.
A cool shower after a hot day on a sandy beach.
Looking up after a rain shower and suddenly seeing the glistening bands of color in a rainbow that seems to bend across the sky for miles.
Scratching where it itches, particularly if the itch is someplace you would not scratch in public. The Chinese philosopher Lin Yutang listed this among life's greatest pleasures.
Climbing into bed between cool sheets that have been hanging outside and seem to have the fragrance of the wind in them.
Going to bed when you are very, very tired, then waking up believing it is probably around sunrise but glancing at the digital clock and it reads 1:37. You yawn, pull up the covers and doze off again, knowing there are hours of soothing sleep ahead.
It's Christmas rush time. You drive into the mall and as you approach the entrance, someone is backing out of a space near the front door!
You are at a party and a piece of cracker has stuck in your teeth. Your tongue can't dislodge it. You reach for another cracker and the corner of it somehow dislodges the piece wedged between your teeth. It drops to your tongue. A miracle!
Your phone rings. It's your 4-year-old son with good news. ``I can tie my shoes!'' he boasts.
Sitting on a screened porch in the summertime watching the frustrated mosquitoes humming loudly but unable to get in.
You open the dryer, sort out the socks - and they all match!
During a boring evening, the silly cat finds a ball of wool and has wrapped herself in it, tumbling over the carpet. Everyone laughs.
The phone rings and an old friend you haven't spoken to in years is on the line.
A mockingbird in a tree has been listening to the sound of your favorite aria on a CD and is whistling it back to you.
The delivery person arrives at the door. You are $1.50 short of the money to pay for pizza. Your run to the sofa, frantically exploring the creases and looking beneath the cushions, before returning to the door with $1.87.
If you have a list of some of the better things in life that are free, I hope you'll pass them along. I'd like to share 'em with readers. The address is 150 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510. Fax: 446-2414. by CNB