THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, June 30, 1996 TAG: 9606300057
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: NORTH CAROLINA
SOURCE: BY JENNIFER MCMENAMIN, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: MANTEO LENGTH: 98 lines
For some, it's a burly mountain man who can chop down a tree, hunt his own supper and live alone outdoors for weeks at a time.
For others it's a muscular construction worker who lives his days in T-shirts, doesn't own a tie and never wears cologne.
And others think of a tall, handsome gentleman with principles, a good sense of humor and a love of Sunday football.
But on the Outer Banks this month, 10 ``real men'' were honored for compassion, positive values and the impact they have made on their communities.
The First Annual Real Men of Dare program, sponsored by Hotline Inc., began when Sexual Assault Counselor Gail Hutchison attended a sexual assault and harassment workshop in Texas. After hearing about the success of similar programs at Rutgers University and the University of Pennsylvania, Hutchison decided to bring the anti-domestic violence awards to the Outer Banks.
Nominations from the community brought in a stack of applications from which a Hotline committee selected the 10 inaugural Real Men of Dare.
Calling it a ``mind-raiser,'' Hutchison explained the concept behind her program.
``It was not a fund-raiser, because I knew in my heart of hearts that it wouldn't be a big money maker,'' she said. ``These 10 guys are the brave guys because they didn't know what this was going to be about. They were our guinea pigs.''
Hotline Executive Director Lynn Bryant agreed on the merits of the venture.
``Hotline is always associated with crisis intervention,'' she said. ``This is our one chance to do something positive. There are good guys out there. That's what we really want to promote - healthy families, not male-bashing.''
Armed with posters celebrating the men and T-shirts that read, ``What this place NEEDS is more Real Men!'' Hutchison and Bryant joined Hotline employees and family members of the honorees at the Dock of the Bay Cafe for an awards ceremony.
``Coming down here, I saw a big half of a rainbow,'' said Jack Weisbrod, chairman of Hotline's board of directors, who opened the June 19 ceremony. ``I looked out and said, `Gee, that must mean something.' You men of Dare are that rainbow in the middle of a whole lot of dark clouds. And it's beautiful.''
The reason behind the rainbow - Tropical Storm Arthur - sent the Real Men of Dare celebration to the cafe rather than the Crystal Dawn tour boat, on which the honorees were set to cruise.
``I just can't believe the weather,'' Bryant said. ``It's so typically Outer Banks.''
But the overcast weather did not stop the enthusiastic organizers from creating a bright environment indoors.
With blue poster board, streamers and silver sparkles, Hotline employees constructed a one-dimensional steamer ship and silver-capped waves near the window of the cafe.
``Welcome! Come on in,'' said Bryant, greeting guests each time the heavy cafe door slammed.
``It's not a boat. But come on board.
``We'll just have to do like this and pretend,'' she said, swaying back and forth as if she were aboard a rocky boat.
The mood remained festive as Hutchison presented the men with plaques and tall bottles of champagne ``to celebrate the force behind the throne,'' Bryant said. ``Because we know that behind every successful man is a you know what: A real woman.''
Words like ``proud'' and ``honored'' echoed throughout the room as the honored men and their wives commented on the unusual honor.
``It's an honor, especially to be with the inaugural bunch,'' said Kurt Dunkin, 40, a Northwest flight attendant of 17 years who was one of the 10 ``Real Men.''
Domestic violence ``is a real problem in this county as well as across the country. The first step is really being aware of what's going on.''
Dunkin's array of jobs put him in an unusual situation. As a flight attendant, he has worked in a female-dominated field for 17 years. But he also served for 14 years in the military and worked for three years in construction - two jobs that are male-majority occupations.
``You see a lot of things from a different perspective, a different mind-set, a different attitude,'' said Dunkin, who lives in Nags Head with his wife, Lisa.
``It makes you more aware of the needs of women and what you consider important.''
Charlotte Zorc said she partially attributes the respectful attitude of her husband, Kevin, to the fact that he was brought up by women. Because his father died when he was 3, Kevin Zorc was raised by his grandmother and mother.
``I wouldn't say it's just respect for women,'' said Kevin Zorc, 34, Nags Head's deputy fire chief. ``It's respect for all people. The Golden Rule.
``It's working with so many good programs where people really work hard and put effort into helping others. I can't say no. I need to help people,'' he explained.
Kevin Zorc also said his three daughters - ages 8, 11 and 13 - have amplified his awareness of women's rights.
``I look at the opportunities they may have when they're older and I don't want them to hit any closed doors,'' he said.
``I want them to work where they want to work. I want them to have a good life. I want them to be treated justly.'' ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
The honorees for real men were:
[For complete graphic, please see microfilm] by CNB