THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, July 3, 1996 TAG: 9607020300
SECTION: MILITARY NEWS PAGE: A12 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: NOW HEAR THIS
SOURCE: CHARLENE CASON, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 66 lines
Whatever happened to respect - you know, politeness, deference to your elders, willingness to glorify Old Glory?
It sometimes seems an old-fashioned concept these days, a word that falls in the same category as another unfashionable word I used to hear when I was growing up: ``couth.''
Get your feet off the furniture, we were told as kids - it's uncouth. Give your seat to that old lady; be civilized. Don't talk with your mouth full; it's not polite.
I doubt today's youngsters have ever heard of couth. That's OK; words come and go in the vernacular. But what's alarming to me is that not many people today - and not necessarily just children - appear to practice respect.
For themselves. For each other. For the flag.
I'm not a particularly patriotic person. In fact, I'm even considering emigrating to another country some day. But I was taught a little civility when it comes to the American flag and the national anthem.
Recently, I attended a military function where, as usual, there was ``a passing of the colors'' while the band played The Star-Spangled Banner. I was near the back row of the audience, standing beneath a striped canopy.
As the flag was slowly paraded by and the band played, my hand flew to the left side of my chest where it belonged, over my heart. Then I looked around.
All the people in military uniforms stood at attention, raising their hands to their hats in salute. A few civilians, of varying ages, placed their right hands over their hearts.
This was the civilized thing to do.
But the majority of civilians - teenagers, middle-aged folks, seniors - stood there like the proverbial ``bumps on a log,'' hands at their sides or behind their backs.
Didn't anyone ever tell them what to do when our flag is passed in review, and our national anthem is played?
I wondered if any of these people knew the words to the Pledge of Allegiance.
I've had little talks with myself over the years, saying such things as, ``You don't need to get goose bumps every time you hear the National Anthem; it's not required.''
And: ``Yes, our flag is nice, unique, but so are a lot of other flags. You don't have to be all sad and stuff when you pass one hanging at half-mast or draped over a casket.
``Don't be a sentimental slob, you're not that patriotic.''
But something so ingrained in me - civility, patriotism, sentimentality - causes those goose bumps and pride and sadness to rise to the surface even as I try to push the feelings down.
And that same something makes my right hand fly up over my heart as instinctively as I offer it when shaking hands with new acquaintances.
Since that ceremony a few weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about civility, and I've really been looking around to see if anyone still has it. I'm starting a campaign to revive the obsolete word ``couth.''
Following are some simple guidelines for civility:
Mind your parents, even if you are 65 years old. If they don't want your feet on the furniture, don't do it.
Open doors for other people, give your seat to older folks or pregnant women, say ``Please'' and ``Thank you.''
Do not talk in the movies, in church or at a cultural event - especially if your conversation is giving away the plot.
And unless you're going out of your way to be rude, put your hand over your heart and stand still when the flag passes or the national anthem plays. MEMO: Staff writer Charlene Cason is a member of the Military News Team. by CNB