THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, July 11, 1996 TAG: 9607110387
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: CHARLISE LYLES
LENGTH: 77 lines
What were you thinking about on the eve of the big event? That argument you had with the boss? With your spouse?
And what did you eat? Big Macs? Fried green tomatoes?
And what kind of music did you listen to? Rap? Rock? Kenny G? Barry Manilow? Muzak?
That night, when you conceived little Junior.
All of the above determine your preconception state of well-being. It's a condition that deeply concerns the folks at Oneness: Center for Purposeful Living.
The group is composed of seven women from all walks of life, a college professor to a mathematician, who believe that one's physical and mental state profoundly influence new life, from the very first cell.
The job of bringing up baby begins at the very first thought of procreation - when that little critter is just a gleam in your eye.
``Human life takes place along a continuum from conception to birth and beyond,'' says member Paula Tucker Hogan. ``The attitudes and thoughts of parents determine the quality of the child conceived.''
So don't wait till after conception to start a healthy diet and exercise, Oneness advises. Dr. Catherine Clarke, Oneness' resident sage, also stresses spiritual wellness.
``Husbands and wives can find some place where they can learn to meditate because it is possible to commune with the soul that is going to incarnate,'' Clarke says.
Oneness meets every Thursday in Chesapeake. In a calm circle, they sit shoeless. A certain peacefulness bonds these women of every color.
They meditate, chant and study ancient spiritual texts known as the ``Ageless Wisdom,'' along with the birthing and preconception practices of indigenous peoples.
They plan lectures and workshops for prospective parents. Their eyes are wide, seeking wisdom. All past child-bearing years, they are like midwives awaiting a wonderful birth.
``We want to help people give birth to angels,'' Hogan says. ``Preparation for conception is the first step.''
But not the last.
After birth, mommy and baby can go to programs like BIBS - Babies Interaction, Bonding and Stimulation Program - at DePaul Hospital in Norfolk.
Nine-week-old Ross Adolphi and E'Mani, 2 months, wore mortar board caps and gowns Wednesday at the BIBS graduation.
Their moms hummed ``Pomp and Circumstance.'' And they cooed, ``Goo-goo, ga-ga, waa-waa, na-ga.'' It sounded like a celebration to me.
The six-week parenting class teaches new mothers baby-bonding skills beyond bathing, diapering and mixing formula.
Mothers received diplomas in learning how to learn about their little ones: child development, motor and social skills; how to listen and interpret that wailing; and how babies learn through repetition, imitation and exploration. Hmmm . . . That's the same way I learn.
``I learned how important it is to talk to her and to look at her eye-to-eye,'' said Kia Foreman, 20, E'Mani's mom. ``When she started cooing, I repeated the sounds she made. She laughed and smiled so big, kicking her feet.''
And they learned to respect their infants' individual learning styles and development rates.
``Each child is different,'' said Alvene Buckley, who has directed BIBS for 12 of its 14 years, along with volunteer Jeanne Bachman, who's put in about 4,000 hours.
The program also creates a community for new moms who often feel all alone in a changed world.
``Just talking and sharing new experiences meant so much to me,'' said Becky Anthony, 30, who just quit her job as an associate director of development at Chrysler Museum to become a full-time mom.
These days, so many children, regardless of privilege or poverty, seem to go wrong. These efforts seek to give them a chance from the very start. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
RICHARD L. DUNSTON/The Virginian-Pilot
The BIBS program at DePaul Hospital teaches mothers like Kia
Foreman, 20, how to really communicate with their babies. Mom and
daughter, E'Mani, graduated this week. by CNB