THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, July 19, 1996                 TAG: 9607190004
SECTION: FRONT                   PAGE: A14  EDITION: FINAL 
TYPE: Letter 
                                            LENGTH:   41 lines

HAVING CHILDREN THE ``RIGHT'' WAY IS HARD TOO

Exactly what emotions was your article ``Kasey & Mariah'' (Sunday Break, July 14) about the teen mother supposed to evoke? Sympathy? I think not.

At 17, the young girl becomes pregnant by a young boy on his way to jail. She then keeps the baby because she knows ``no one would be a better mother.'' Really? I beg to differ. What exactly is she offering her daughter? A stable home? No! A hope for the future? No! The odds are strongly against her ever seeing ``dad'' once he is paroled.

I look all around me and see people doing things the ``right'' way, only to have to suffer for it. I have several friends who are struggling to maintain homes and children and jobs. These are married couples who would like to further their careers and families by earning college degrees. But they cannot get financial aid for college because they are married. They have to cut back on course loads so that they can provide child care for their children. They have to work full time to provide for their families. All of this while ``poor, single moms'' get their college education handed over on a silver platter along with reduced-price or free child care.

At my place of employment, six women have had babies this year. They have to seek out and pay for their own child care. It is often at sites miles away from work.

We would gladly pay to have on-site child care, where we could check on our children frequently. But, apparently, we did it ``wrong.'' We should have had our kids when we were 17. Then the public-school system would have provided us free day care, on-site, and given us a stipend to feed our child.

Our party days are over when our children are born. But Ms. 17-year-old mom's days are still intact. She just drops the kid with her mom and goes out ``to be young.'' Since she does not work - other than occasionally mowing the yard - one must assume she is spending her welfare checks to finance her party time.

She complains about how hard it is on her. Think of how hard it would have been had she done things the ``right'' way.

MICHELE BAIRD

Virginia Beach, July 16, 1996 by CNB