THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, August 3, 1996 TAG: 9608020054
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ALVA CHOPP, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: 91 lines
SHE WAS ONLY 19 when she came to this country. Seven months pregnant, unable to drive and too frightened to answer the phone for fear of being misunderstood, Ester Corpus couldn't imagine a more frightening place.
From their home in the Philippines, Esther and her husband, Roland, had traveled to California for their first Navy assignment in a new country. She held tight to the thought that she would not have have to face the challenge alone.
Then Roland announced that his submarine was leaving for a two-week deployment.
``He left me on the sofa in front of the TV and told me to call the neighbor if I had any problems,'' she remembers. ``When he came back, I was still on the sofa - crying, and I prayed he would never have to leave me again.''
Corpus' memories of 27 years ago are a world away from the life she lives today. The senior vice president and manager for BB&T Bank of Virginia Beach, a divorced mother of two grown daughters, Corpus considers herself a success story.
But the problems she faced as a new wife in a strange country were not so different from those of foreign-born military spouses today, she says. The challenges of a new country and culture can be overwhelming.
``We're called dependents by the Navy and we really do depend on our husbands,'' she says. ``But when they leave on deployments, we eventually have to become independent. We have no choice.''
To help ease the transition, Corpus will share her story at a workshop for foreign-born spouses on Monday at the Oceana Family Housing Community Center on Birdneck Road. Sponsored by the Oceana Navy Family Services Center, the workshop helps newly arrived spouses understand the culture of this country and learn about resources available to them.
Yvette Stevenson, parent education specialist for the center, said the workshop is open to all services and nationalities. ``In other cultures, people may tend to go to family members for help instead of reaching out to strangers, so we have to consider the culture they come from and adjust our program to meet their needs,'' she says.
During the three-hour workshop, representatives from the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Office, the Virginia Beach school system and the Navy Family Services Center will speak.
The topics seem endless. So much to understand: citizenship, green cards, sponsoring family members abroad, foreign transcripts, financial aid, continuing education, resume writing, job opportunities, money management.
So many rules to follow. So much to learn.
``I was afraid of so many things,'' Corpus recalls. She had graduated from a university in the Philippines but couldn't drive herself to the grocery store. Though not shy in her native land, she suddenly became timid and withdrawn in the United States.
``It's a culture shock, no question about it,'' she says. ``I never understood the word depressed until my experience in San Diego. I missed everything back home.''
Communication is often the biggest challenge. For that reason, the military sponsor is often encouraged to attend the workshop with their spouse to be an interpreter.
When you're not confident with the language, you begin to doubt your self worth. Although English is the second language in the Philippines, Corpus found her accent misunderstood by Americans, and she refused to answer the telephone.
Finding a job can be difficult and there's a fear of not being accepted in the community.
``The food is different, banking is different and even the way this culture disciplines children may be different,'' Corpus says. ``We come to this country wanting to see something familiar from our culture, but that's not the way it is.''
Corpus says she wants women in this workshop to master skills key to developing self-confidence and a feeling of independence.
``I attribute my own success to a lot of perseverance,'' she says. ``I faced a lot of problems and disappointments, but they made me a stronger person.''
Her first job in the States was as a department store clerk. As her confidence increased, she turned her Philippines marketing and management degree into a bank teller's position, eventually working her way into management.
``I just decided I had to do something for myself,'' she says. ``I had to face my fear and turn negative feelings into positive ones.
``Now when I look back, I'm proud of what I've accomplished.''
Corpus, a resident of Virginia Beach since 1975, says she also took advantage of cultural organizations in the area to meet other foreign residents, but she sees the NFSC workshop as a way for others to begin their transition. MEMO: For more information or to register for the Foreign-born Spouses
Workshop, contact Yvette Stevenson at 433-2055. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo by Charlie Meads/the Virginian-Pilot
[Yvette Stevenson, left, and Esther Corpus] by CNB