THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, August 15, 1996 TAG: 9608150333
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MICHELLE MIZAL, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 118 lines
Agnes Sansone was scared to tell.
She was the 17-year-old daughter of native Filipinos who were expecting her to finish college and become a nurse.
That was Agnes' dream, too. After all, she was senior class president at Salem High School in Virginia Beach and an honor roll student.
But now she was pregnant.
A few years ago, Agnes, who is now 18 and married to the father of her child, would have been a social outcast.
Now, her experience is being shared by many others in the Filipino community as they work to blend the mores of the country they left behind with the sometimes looser attitudes of their new home.
A young, pregnant, unmarried girl used to be unthinkable among native Filipinos. But their first-generation children say they are 100 percent American and that premarital sex is more accepted here.
Local Filipino parents are so alarmed by the numbers of first-generation teen moms that community leaders have called a town meeting for Saturday at the Kempsville Library in Virginia Beach to discuss teen pregnancy prevention and the responsibilities of parenthood.
``We hope to establish an awareness to the parents and teenagers, whether male or female, about the problems and responsibility of taking care of the baby,'' said Nony Abrajano, chairman of the Filipino-American Community Action Group.
Between 1990 and 1992 in Hampton Roads, live births to girls of Philippine descent who were younger than 19 more than doubled, from 18 to 38, according to the Virginia Department of Health's Center for Health Statistics. The annual numbers have leveled off since then, to the upper 20s.
The numbers are low, but they are enough to worry Filipino parents who say they don't know how to handle the problem.
Abrajano said that for centuries Filipino parents have taken pride in the protective upbringing of their children. Native parents remember when Filipino children respected elders, got good grades and remained virgins until marriage. These parents say such values are more firmly enforced in the Philippine culture than in America.
``Virginity was very sacred - that type of thing didn't happen unless a girl was raped,'' Abrajano said.
Pelagia Mejia, 60, who moved to Virginia Beach five years ago from La Union, Philippines, said that many Filipino parents have more problems training children in America than in the Philippines because of the environment - it's just too ``American,'' she said.
Mejia, who has six children ages 19 to 41, said American children seem independent and don't listen to their parents. She said Filipino teens have adopted this attitude.
Mejia added that native Philippine parents are used to an environment in which children are submissive. So when first-generation teens don't listen, native parents find themselves helpless.
But Filipino teens say they don't understand what the big deal is. To them, the explanation is simple:
``Parents need to understand that we're not in the Philippines anymore,'' said Agnes, who last December gave birth to Ariana Jade, the baby she was too scared to tell her parents about until she was four months pregnant.
She said that when she was in high school, her parents tried to enforce the Philippine boyfriend/girlfriend code: You can't have one until you finish college.
She said she got tired of staying at home and conforming to the stereotypical role of a Pacific Islander child - cleaning house, respecting parents, studying regularly and staying boyfriend-free.
When parents enforce traditional Philippine morals, they often seem too strict to their Americanized children. Some Filipino teenagers decide to get that girlfriend or boyfriend anyway, Agnes said.
Local Philippine parents aren't blaming everything on the American culture. They say that parents share the blame for the loss of control over their children - and the pregnancy statistics that they find so alarming.
Josie Dabu, a mother of three sons, said that most Filipino parents work too much, neglect their children and are too lenient.
``Somewhere along the line I think we lost our family values and accepted the standard that children are free to do what they want to do in the American culture,'' she said. Dabu, who came to the United States from Luzon, Philippines, in 1980, said she knows of at least four pregnant Filipino teens in her Virginia Beach neighborhood.
But some parents wonder whether Filipino moral values are too strict, and whether they encourage the current behavior of many first- and second-generation Filipinos.
Elena Salvanera, who came to America in 1976 from Manila, said that her father was too strict, and that's why she got married at age 20. She vowed to be more lenient with her children.
``Rochelle, come here,'' Salvanera called to her 19-year-old daughter from her living room. A young girl walked into the room, carrying a plump, smiling baby boy wearing a rainbow-striped jumper.
``She's expecting her second child,'' Elena Salvanera said, taking 9-month-old Sebastian from his mother's arms.
Salvanera said that when she found out her unmarried daughter was pregnant, she hugged her and told her everything was going to be OK. Rochelle married the father of her child, Jermaine Vega, 20, last year.
Salvanera, a Virginia Beach resident, said she became more lenient after she worked with a Filipino youth group and found that some of the teens tried to commit suicide because of strict parents.
``Parents need to be more open-minded with their children,'' Salvanera said.
One thing Filipino parents and teens agree on is that more communication is needed.
Even Abrajano agreed that parents cannot accomplish anything by telling their kids how it was in the Philippines. If Filipino moral values are molded with American values, parents can forge ``a better communication link with their children,'' Abrajano said.
Agnes, who married her baby's father, Joewell Sansone, 20, also a first-generation Filipino, said she now feels strongly about traditional Filipino values. She plans to instill them in her daughter - and to pursue her dream of becoming a nurse.
``I don't want her making the same mistakes I did.'' ILLUSTRATION: Coor photo
MIKE HEFFNER/The Virginian-Pilot
Rochelle Vega, 19, right, is the mother of 9-month-old Sebastian.
Her mother, Elena Salvanera, was supportive when she found out that
Rochelle, then unmarried, was pregnant. ``Parents need to be more
open-minded with their children,'' Salvanera says.
KEYWORDS: TEENAGE PREGNANCY PHILIPPINES by CNB