THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, August 21, 1996 TAG: 9608210390
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: LAWRENCE MADDRY
LENGTH: 81 lines
BURIED HIM?
``Yep, you know, St. Joseph.''
Her name was Maggie Lockwood, and she sounded brittle and dejected. As though she might snap at any moment.
You buried a statue of St. Joseph in your yard?
``Right, he's supposed to be the patron saint of the home,'' she said.
It's a great home, she explained. On the market for more than a year. Small stucco at 1731 Blair Ave. in Norfolk with a very large wooded lot, new kitchen, wood fireplace, two bedrooms, one-car garage, trees and flowers everywhere, she said.
So she buried St. Joseph in the back yard. I wondered how she had done that.
``I got a shovel, I buried him in the back yard upside down,'' she said. ``It's not like a satanic rite or anything. My husband is a practicing Catholic. People use saints all the time. Like they pray to St. Anthony when they've lost things.''
I told her I didn't know how that worked. ``You have to say `St. Anthony come round, something's lost that must be found,' '' she explained
She sounded like a good candidate for St. Anthony herself. I resisted suggesting he might help her find her mind.
``St. Joseph is just a statue,'' she said. ``I had to buy a whole Nativity set at a thrift shop to get him. But I kept the sheep and the cradle in a box in the attic.''
Maggie said she had been married for nearly a year, and she and her husband now live in a house they bought in Portsmouth.
She said she buried the statue in June and was confident it would help. ``I buried St. Joseph in the back yard. The next day I sat by the phone - it's 623-5135 - all day, figuring Ivana Trump would be calling any minute to make me an offer.''
But so far, no luck, she claimed.
I wondered if it wasn't disrespectful to bury a saint's likeness, particularly St. Joseph's.
``Well, I didn't expect him to be underground more than a week,'' she said. ``I thought the house would be sold. But I have promised him that the moment the house is purchased we'll put him on the mantle of our new house. I may even build a grotto equipped with votive candles for him on our side porch.''
Maggie said one of her friends sold a house a day or so after burying a St. Joseph's statue in her back yard. She gave me the name of another friend, Pat Shea, a former resident of Hampton Roads now living in California who had read an article about the popularity of the buried statues.
On the phone, Pat said she had read about burying St. Joseph statues but had not tried it herself. She said when she lived in the Midwest people planted plastic ducks in their yards to sell houses. ``They put little bibs on the ducks, and bonnets and things.''
``Did it help sell a house?'' I asked. She gave it a moment's thought.
``Only if the buyer was from the Midwest,'' she replied.
Wondering if Maggie was correct about the popularity of the St. Joseph statues as a way to sell a house, I phoned Long's Religious Supply on Monticello Avenue in Norfolk.
At Long's, Betty Tuttle said they sell quite a few of the statues to folks who want to sell houses. ``They sell pretty well,'' she said. ``And one or two Realtors have asked for them.'' She said sales seem to fluctuate with the housing market.
In the newspaper library I found an article from a few years back about a firm in California - where else? - that sells St. Joseph kits to hopeful sellers and real estate agents.
The kit includes a statue of St. Joseph for burial and a prayer that must be spoken to ensure success:
``Oh, St. Joseph, guardian of household needs, we know you don't like to be upside-down in the ground, but the sooner escrow closes, the sooner we will dig you up and put you in a place of honor in our new home. Please bring us an acceptable offer (or any offer!) and help sustain our faith in the real estate market.''
Maggie hadn't mentioned the recitation during our phone conversation. I phoned her back to give it to her.
``You don't have a prayer, Maggie,'' I said.
``Yeah, that's what I've been thinking,'' she replied, as dejected as ever.
She seemed glad to get the recitation and hung up quickly so she could repeat it to her buried statue of St. Joseph. ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
JANET SHAUGHNESSY/The Virginian-Pilot by CNB