THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Thursday, August 22, 1996             TAG: 9608220402
SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B7   EDITION: FINAL 
SOURCE: BY BILL BASKERVILL, ASSOCIATED PRESS 
DATELINE: RICHMOND                          LENGTH:   60 lines

JUDGE BARS MOTHER FROM SEEING SON WITH LESBIAN LOVER SHE CAN VISIT SON, WHO LIVES WITH HER MOTHER, ALONE, BUT IS ANGERED WITH RULING.

A judge barred Sharon Bottoms from visiting her young son in the presence of her lesbian lover, but increased the time she may spend with the child.

Henrico Circuit Judge Buford Parsons was firm in his ruling Wednesday that Bottoms ensure that the boy, Tyler Doustou, does not speak with her partner, April Wade.

The ruling allowing Tyler, 5, to spend every other weekend, two holidays and a week in the summer with Bottoms came after she dropped a bitter, three-year custody fight with her mother, Kay Bottoms. She asked instead for more lenient visitation.

Parsons' ruling, however, angered and saddened Bottoms and Wade.

``I don't understand how anybody can tell someone they can't speak to someone else,'' Bottoms said. ``It breaks my heart.''

Wade said she will have to vacate her own apartment, which she shares with Bottoms, during visits. ``This is my apartment,'' said Wade. ``I'm being kicked out of my d--- house.''

She accused Parsons of ``being prejudiced, homophobic and downright hateful,'' and she said the ruling was not in the best interest of the child.

Before Wednesday's ruling, Bottoms' visits with Tyler had been restricted to neutral sites on Mondays and Tuesdays. Tyler was not permitted to go to her apartment or see Wade, although Wade could talk to the boy by phone.

Bottoms and the boy's father are divorced, and he has not been involved in his upbringing.

Richard R. Ryder, attorney for Kay Bottoms, said his client is pleased with the ruling.

``It's about what I expected the judge to do. All of the courts with the exception of the Court of Appeals have refused to allow any contact with April Wade. This way Tyler's visits will take place in surroundings where only his mother is there.''

Kent Willis, director of the Virginia chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, said he was pleased Bottoms won expanded visitation rights. Banning all contact between Wade and the boy, however, shows prejudice is still evident, he said. The ACLU represented Bottoms since her legal fight began.

Bottoms lost custody of Tyler in 1993 when a judge said she was an unfit mother because she and Wade engaged in oral sex, a felony in Virginia. That decision angered gay rights advocates.

A Virginia appeals court overturned the decision, but the Virginia Supreme Court reinstated it last year.

Besides allowing Tyler to visit his mother's apartment every other weekend, the boy may now visit for long Thanksgiving weekends, from Wednesday through Sunday. Weekend visits at Bottoms' apartment may begin Aug. 30, the ruling said. Bottoms may also see her son on Christmas and two days after, and one week in the summer.

Sharon Bottoms' ordeal inspired plans for an ABC television movie titled ``For the Love of Tyler.'' Actress Valerie Bertinelli was cast in the role of Sharon Bottoms. The film has not yet aired.

KEYWORDS: RULING CHILD CUSTODY HOMOSEXUAL LESBIAN GAY

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