THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, September 1, 1996 TAG: 9609010075
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: NORTH CAROLINA
SOURCE: JEFFREY S. HAMPTON, CORRESPONDENT
DATELINE: HERTFORD LENGTH: 90 lines
Why did Patrick and Annabell Whitfield stay together so long?
``Love, respect, pride and honor,'' is the simple answer printed on the invitation for the couple's 70th wedding anniversary party today. The event will be held in their summer home on the Perquimans River, where the family has celebrated holidays and special occasions for 50 years.
Pat, 96, and Annie, 92, raised seven children and ran a dry-cleaning business and confectionery in Portsmouth for 25 years. Through it all, the Chesapeake couple treated each other like a king and queen.
``We took it one day at the time,'' said Annie, ``understanding each other and enjoying each day as it came.''
Annie is outspoken. Pat is quiet and easygoing.
He worked long, arduous hours and left the management of the household and money to Annie. She had graduated from State Normal School in Elizabeth City, while Pat had only made it through the seventh grade. It would have been easy for her to have dominated the roost, but she didn't.
``I always felt he was the head of the household,'' Annie said. ``I dropped a hint, and he'd think about it for a while. He'd come back later and say, `You know, I think we ought to do it this way.'
``That has worked for 69 years and some days. It must be good.''
Pat, typically, expressed his feelings in a few words: ``The only thing I can say is I must have done a lot of things right. It lasted so long because I agreed with everything. I've had a beautiful life, I can say that.''
Annie still remembers her wedding day as the happiest memory of her life. Her father did not approve of her marriage, so she left her home in Ahoskie and wed Pat in Portsmouth.
Her father once said to her, ``I heard you're getting married.''
``Don't you believe it until I tell you,'' Annie said she told him. ``I never did tell him. He married his first love. I wanted to marry my first love, too.''
Annie's father came to know Pat and later said he was one of the nicest men he'd ever known. Annie believes he is THE nicest man she's ever known.
``He did anything he thought would make me happy,'' she said.
Even after long hours of work, he would care for their five young children while Annie went to an occasional social function. She was the one who spent most of the time with the children. She gave up her teaching career to devote herself to being a wife and mother.
The harmony between Pat and Annie had a profound effect on their children.
Lloyd T. Whitfield, 59, just celebrated his 40th anniversary. ``They showed us what it took to make a marriage work. Cooperation. We (the boys) just followed dad's footsteps.'' Lloyd is retired from the Army and civil service.
When daughter Florence Whitfield Whitfield, 53, got married, she was stunned when she and her husband had a real argument. She had never heard her parents argue. This was not supposed to happen. She called her mother for advice.
``I'm going to divorce him. We had an argument,'' Florence said she told her mother.
Her mother said that was no reason to divorce her husband, and she explained that she and her father had disagreed behind closed doors.
Annie is still the strong mother to her children, who are themselves grandparents.
``If we have a disagreement, she'll remind us we're all adults,'' said Jean Whitfield Perry, a 63-year-old teacher. ``You don't hear anything more out of us.''
Jean and Florence both graduated from Elizabeth City State Teachers College after hearing their mother speak of it for years. The school is now Elizabeth City State University.
``It was an unwritten law,'' said Florence, now a staff developer with the New York City Board of Education. ``You didn't even think about whether you would go to college. The only question was where you would go. Where they got the money to send seven children to college, we don't know.''
Four of Annie and Pat's children graduated from college. Twelve of the 20 grandchildren have a college degree. The same expectations exist for 25 great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild.
Though the celebration is today, the actual anniversary is Sept. 6. Portsmouth Mayor Dr. James W. Holley III has declared Friday as Pat and Annie Whitfield Day, even though Pat retired 31 years ago and sold his building, which sat on the corner of Mount Vernon and Queen streets 31 years ago.
Pat and Annie would want all of their children mentioned. So, the Whitfields' other children are: Patrick H. Whitfield, 68, a retired Army colonel; Royal C. Whitfield, 66, a retired construction worker; and Jacqueline W. McCray, 52, a supervisor of Baltimore Social Services. Their third son, James C. Whitfield, died of lung cancer in 1988.
As Pat would say to his children when they asked which one he liked best, ``I love all my children.''
The answer brought harmony among the children. Pat and Annie liked it that way. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
Patrick and Annabell Whitfield will have a 70th anniversary party
today at their summer home on the Perquimans River. by CNB