THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, September 14, 1996 TAG: 9609130063
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Issues of Faith
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: 88 lines
Last Week's Issue of Faith: The spiritual value of being a caretaker, or caregiver, as some would prefer.
This Week's Reader Responses:
From Julian F. Granger of Virginia Beach: ``The finest caregiver I know is my sister-in-law, Mrs. Frances Foster Granger of Fountain Valley, Calif., and formerly of Greensboro, N.C. For more than 30 years, she cared for her husband, my brother, the Rev. A. Lanson Granger Jr. He was a Norfolk native and a graduate of Maury High School, Elon College and Yale Divinity School. Lanson was a victim of multiple sclerosis, but thanks largely to Frankie's loving ministrations, he lived to the age of 81. He died on St. Valentine's Day . . . He was, and is, my hero. So, too, is Frankie.''
From Sally Towslee of Virginia Beach: ``I am a Well Spouse. My children were 7 and 9 and I was 41 when my 46-year-old husband was diagnosed with chronic-progressive multiple sclerosis in 1985. In a few short years, Don went from being a tall, strong father and husband who worked for a living. . . to a man who is almost totally paralyzed, muscularly wasted and confined to a wheelchair, needing help with the very basics of day-to-day living. The horrible disease which afflicted our family robbed the kids of their childhood, forcing them to grow up and take on great responsibility long before their time.
``. . . (In) the national Well Spouse Foundation . . . I have found a group of people who understand exactly how I feel. I am no longer alone! I read a book by Maggie Strong entitled ``Mainstay for the Well Spouse of the Chronically Ill'' and was encouraged to start a support group for others in like situations. . . I meet with almost 20 others twice a month. Our numbers are growing as we meet to support each other, share hopes and fears, get angry, find solutions to common problems and learn to take care of ourselves so we can better take care of our spouses.
`` . . . I close with something I have posted on my refrigerator: `Dear God: I know You will never give me more than You and I could handle together, but sometimes I wish You didn't have such a high opinion of me!' ''
To get more information on the local Well Spouse group, call Sally Towslee at 424-3393. (Towslee was commended for her work by another reader and caregiver, June Newland of Virginia Beach).
From Lynn Brunke of Virginia Beach: ``I am a registered nurse of 23 years (and) I've had the honor of assisting with the care of my now-deceased father and a few very close friends, also now deceased . . . I have (now) my co-workers uppermost in mind. They are the caretakers of the community. They sacrifice daily to go to work, balancing bureaucracy with gracefully aiding both patient and family in accepting their physical and emotional lot in life much determination, love and dedication. The gift of caretaking is found in us, but given to us by a higher power.''
From Lynn Dambrauskas of Portsmouth: ``. . . This letter is about one of the most beloved people in my life: Rachel Braman. She lives in a modest three-bedroom home in Churchland with her elderly husband, Wally Braman, and her wonderful mother, Mrs. Fanny Jones . . . When you go to Rachel's home at any given time, you will find her always busy and the house full of people, the elderly from her church or children. Some of these children are grandchildren and some are those adopted by love who just want to be near her.
``Rachel has been through trials and tribulations with her family including her grown children. She has always been there to pick up the pieces, soothe hurt feelings and to administer love and big Sunday dinners to anyone who happens by . . . All the people in her life, friends, family and anyone lucky enough to come in contact her will feel her touch and gentle kiss forever.''
Columnist's Note: Because of the volume of responses, only a few could be printed this week. However, I would like to mention the names of those who wrote, along with the names of the caregivers they commended. On the downside, however, I was unable to pull-up this week's e-mail due to a computer glitch, so none of those names is mentioned here this week. So sorry! I will read those responses as soon as possible.
The letters, faxes and calls received were wonderful. They are touching testimonies of the strength and love of the many unsung heroes in our community. Thanks for sharing them with me!
Nancy S. Allan of Virginia Beach wrote about her mother, Irma Sellner.
Elaine S. Pugh of Norfolk wrote about her friend, Fern Harris.
Brigid Z. Miller wrote of her sister-in-law, Marilee Miller.
Melissa Lanier of Norfolk wrote of her step-grandmother.
Lucy Walters of Virginia Beach wrote of an entire family who cared for a premature infant, one of twin boys born to them.
Tommy Steele of Virginia Beach wrote of Mrs. T.D. Steele
Reesa Bloom of Virginia Beach called about a friend, Terry Deyo.
Laura Maroney of Chesapeake called about her husband, Matthew, and two daughters, Susan and Ellen, and her Dad, all who helped her care for her mother.
An anonymous reader called about a friend, Geneva Drumheller. by CNB