THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 20, 1996 TAG: 9609200551
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MIKE KNEPLER AND TERRI WILLIAMS, STAFF WRITERS
DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH LENGTH: 128 lines
Terre Ittner thinks it's good not to have her own washer and dryer.
``I'm really lucky I still have to do my laundry outside my home,'' said the Virginia Beach woman. ``I meet other people in the Laundromat.''
Thursday night, Ittner found another way to meet new people: Attend a public forum on the disappearance - and importance - of informal community gathering places.
The forum, organized by a group called Public Choices, featured remarks by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, author of ``The Great Good Place.''
The book champions the social and civic roles of places such as community centers, cafes, coffee shops, beauty parlors, neighborhood taverns, general stores and sidewalk benches.
Oldenburg, a professor at the University of West Florida in Pensacola, calls such informal gathering points ``Third Places'' because they are the third ``realms of experience'' in society; the first two being home and work.
But the forum was an attempt to offer more than a lecture. It also was an experiment in encouraging public dialogue, especially among strangers.
The program was held in the Boyd Campus Dining Center of Virginia Wesleyan College, and the 80 or so who attended were seated around cafeteria tables.
After Oldenburg's talk, the audience was invited to discuss his remarks, focusing on two themes:
Personal experience with community gathering places.
Identifying the barriers that tend to separate society instead of encouraging a shared dialogue.
Many said the lecture and discussion provided a new way of looking at neighborhood gathering points - how they may have taken them for granted, how much they really enjoy meeting with casual acquaintances, how they missed the places that have shut down.
``I could write a whole book about the importance of talking and laughing with others,'' said Vergie Smith of Norfolk.
She enthused about once helping to start a bi-weekly discussion group of people who subscribed to a Christian singles newsletter.
Smith hosted the gatherings in her house. Talk was accompanied by buffets, ``Movie and Mingle nights,'' and ``Prayer Parties.''
``People were suspicious until they got there,'' she said. ``But everyone knew it was needed. They were connecting with each other.''
That prompted a comment from tablemate Mark Fleischer of Norfolk. ``People feel so isolated,'' he said.
``That's an understatement,'' said Smith.
Fleischer shared fond memories of coffeehouses he frequented in Cleveland. He noted that similar ventures are starting in South Hampton Roads, but he said many of them seem ``too mechanized'' and overly oriented toward profits instead of helping customers feel comfortable.
Some participants Thursday said their quest for neighborly chats have taken them to an odd assortment of places. Dorothy Carroll of Norfolk said she's even sought conversation in public libraries, despite the prohibitions against too much talking.
``We'd snicker like little kids because we knew we had to be quiet,'' Carroll said. ``Things like that take me back to childhood. They make me laugh.''
Many participants at Thursday's forum struggled to find ways to recreate a sense of community in an age when suburban sprawl and development often segregate citizens.
Several people from Norfolk's Roland Park community lamented that a popular neighborhood bar, Chances Restaurant and Lounge, and some nearby shops, may soon close. Chances owner Kenneth Swoope said the city is negotiating to move a social-service agency to the shopping center, and the landlord will phase out the remaining businesses.
But Chances, a few Roland Park residents said, is much more than a bar; it's a community place.
``It is a neighborhood place, so I don't understand,'' said Bonnie Portzline. ``It's a gathering place.''
Portzline said the bar is very connected to its community, supporting civic drives. Chances staffers also often look after neighborhood kids, said Portzline.
David Ollison of Chesapeake has never been to Chances. But he knows about the experience.
Ollison was reared in the tiny town of Pollocksville, N.C., where corner stores, restaurants and churches often were safe places to leave kids. But now that neighbors no longer know their neighbors, they're forced to invent new ways to draw together, especially against crime, when before it was more natural.
``In the town I grew up, the neighbors looked out after the kids,'' said Ollison. ``Now we have to create neighborhood watches.''
However, at another table, a group of women disagreed with Oldenburg's approach. They asserted that the old way of community is an anachronism in today's society.
``We talked about the old neighborhoods, but we don't want to go back to the old way. Let's be real,'' said Malissia Lee, who lives in Norfolk's Sandy Bay Point. ``I like my privacy. If they (neighbors) need me, they know how to reach me.''
Jolida Saunders, who lives in a suburban neighborhood in Newport News, said she's made a conscious decision to move to the suburbs and shop at strip center malls for convenience and safety. She said that because she lives in the 'burbs, her sense of community is just different. Her church and YMCA are miles from her home, but they are all extensions of her community.
``My village is an extension, even though it's not something next door,'' said Saunders.
Miki Weiner didn't like the idea of defining taverns as community places. Weiner said she and several other citizens protested having a bar in their Lexington, Mass., community because it also attracted minors.
At another table, a group said community service is one way to bring people of all colors and age groups together. Gwen Dickens of Williams Village in Virginia Beach reported that a school effort to pair children at an area nursing home allowed the youngsters to change their attitudes about the elderly.
Some participants still puzzled over how to create new places for community conversation, especially when many traditional places are zoned out of neighborhoods.
``Is it hopeless?'' asked Mary Clark Janis.
Leonard Park of Norfolk's Lafayette-Winona neighborhood said he was inspired.
``We found we all have a desire for third places, but we didn't know it,'' he said. ``So we've decided to go back to our neighborhood and try . . . We need to take charge again.'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo by RICHARD L. DUNSTON/The Virginian-Pilot
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg calls informal gathering points ``Third
Places'' because they are the third ``realms of experience'' in
society; the first two being home and work. He spoke Thursday at
Virginia Wesleyan College.
Graphic
GOOD-PLACE TIPS
Ray Oldenburg offers the following tips to create a good place:
Have groups of friends and socialize together.
Get involved in civic and grass-roots forums.
Become a regular at your favorite tavern or coffeehouse.
Work to create social activities that involve people of different
ages and ethnic backgrounds. by CNB