THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, September 22, 1996 TAG: 9609210048
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Opinion
SOURCE: BY ANN G. SJOERDSMA
LENGTH: 99 lines
WE WOMEN have long suffered the ``long-suffering wife.''
He fools around, is caught, says a thousand mea culpas while long-suffering wife purses her already pursed lips and forgives him - too easily. Time passes, he reverts to type, but now with her ``understanding,'' and the marriage, such as it is, is ``saved.''
Until the last infidelity and the divorce. Or separate lives.
A bit generalized, perhaps, but an all-too-common scenario.
We feminist types have tended to hold our tongues about such scenarios. (Alas, some of us have even fallen for these losers, who don't complicate our lives with ``commitment.'') After all, who are we to judge other people's marriages? Who are we to tell other women that they're cheating themselves?
Then along comes Eileen McGann, wife of little-boy-caught-in-the-act Dick Morris, former key Clinton image-maker, and we long-suffering-wife observers have to ask: How much more can we take? At what price wifely ``forgiveness''? At what price our silence?
McGann makes ``Stand By Your Man'' seem like a feminist anthem.
A lawyer with her own name and money, this apparently long-suffering wife not only denies - at least publicly - any personal consequences to her husband's adulterous behavior, but sympathizes with his ``pain''!
McGann gives me a pain.
Sure, I can see how cavorting in a $440-a-night Washington hotel suite with an obedient, any-fantasy-goes prostitute, while McGann was nestled in their Connecticut home, must've really hurt Dick.
Please.
I'm all for forgiveness, but I draw the line at masochism.
After Morris' alleged ``fall,'' his dutiful wife stiff-upper-lipped herself onto the cover of Time magazine, standing (stoically, with lips pursed) behind the bad boy, and gave an exclusive statement that fantastically began:
``I'm concerned with helping Dick get through this. I think he will. He has great survival instincts, ever since being born prematurely at 2 1/2 pounds.''
``Get through this''? ``Survival''? Who reversed the roles? Earth to Eileen: At 48, Dick no longer weighs 2 1/2 pounds. He can't claim low birth weight every time he abuses respect, honor, trust, power, responsibility, and hurts you.
He can still claim to be a little boy, however. As long as he has a protective mama.
``Friends keep calling and faxing,'' McGann continued, ``and that is making him feel better. But he's unfortunately not able to be distant. He's feeling the pain.''
What a shame. Does he feel bad about the girlfriend and baby in Texas, too? Or is he just upset because he can't suck call girl Sherry Rowlands' toes anymore or tell Bill Clinton how to run the country?
And why should he feel ``distant''? What the heck is that all about?
But not to fear. Dizzy, the golden retriever, ``has been following Dick around offering him comfort.''
How nice for man and his best friend.
People do ``make mistakes,'' McGann concludes.
Hello - is there a woman in here somewhere?
Said Belle Sawhill, the new president of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy: ``It's a mystery, why she's acting the way she is. . . . Maybe it's a bargain, but it's a bargain with the devil. . . . The message is bad.''
I agree. Whatever bargains she may have with her husband of 20 years, McGann needn't have served up such self-denying pap. A $2.5 million book deal is not worth the degradation. And with all the talk about women's low self-esteem, manifesting itself in eating disorders, teen-age pregnancy, domestic violence, etc., etc., and undermining their very quality of life, how dare she?
Think what an impression long-suffering wives, especially high-profile ones with their own bank accounts, could make on the millions of little boys (and girls) out there if every time they went out to play, they found the front door locked on return.
Woman to woman, Eileen, I wish you'd found power in principle and self-respect, not in money and politics, and made it tough for Dick. He'll never change if you don't. Life's too short for long suffering. MEMO: Ann G. Sjoerdsma is a lawyer and book editor for The
Virginian-Pilot. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
Associated Press
Eileen McGann stands stoically beside Dick Morris.
Graphic
CHEATING CHART
Figures on extramarital affairs among the sexes vary widely, but
the most recent nationally representative survey, conducted at
University of Chicago in 1992, found 15 percent of married women and
25 percent of married men reported having had an affair at least
once during their marriage. Many researchers faulted those findings
as too conservative, noting that a 1990 update of the legendary
Kinsey report showed that 37 percent of married men and 29 percent
of married women had been unfaithful.
Whatever the actual number, Americans agree in their attitudes
toward marital infidelity. In a recent University of Chicago
National Opinion Research survey, 78 percent of Americans said
extramarital sex is always wrong, end of story. Another 14 percent
said it is almost always wrong, leaving just 8 percent in the
``undecided'' or ``go for it'' categories.
Los Angeles Times by CNB