THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, October 2, 1996 TAG: 9610020025
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY CRAIG SHAPIRO, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 143 lines
THE VITAL STATS regarding Ernie Caltenback:
He's 31, just celebrated his third wedding anniversary and has worked for Pepsi Cola for 10 years. His family - understanding wife, beautiful baby girl, five friskie Yorkies - lives in a sturdy house remodeled by Ernie's dad, a 40-year Navy man, in a neat, blue-collar Norfolk neighborhood. He drives a 1985 Dodge Ram Charger.
Keep that in perspective.
An upstairs room holds his collection, if ``collection'' does it justice, of KISS stuff. There are dolls, pillows, masks, T-shirts, board games, puzzles, a Colorform sticker set and radio-controlled van.
One wall is devoted to KISS fanzines and magazines with articles about KISS; another to LPs, picture discs, bootlegs and 45s. He has two guitars autographed by Paul Stanley, and a couple of arcade-size KISS pinball machines. They're out in the garage.
But Ernie, head shaven except for a long, sandy-blond ponytail, is not just any dyed-in-the-wool KISS fan.
High up on his left thigh is a tattoo of bassist Gene Simmons flicking that tongue for the world to see. And the world has seen it - on the cover of the tribute album ``KISS My A--'' as well as in the book ``KISStory.''
Devotion, in this instance, is skin deep.
``When people see my picture, they say, `He ain't normal,' '' Caltenback said with a laugh. ``That's the good thing about my daughter. When they see me with her, they say, `Where did you steal her?' ''
Getting the tattoo was easy. Ernie just told his friend Jerry Thomas, who runs Ancient Art in Yorktown, what he wanted: ``Gene ripping out of my leg.'' Thomas, who had tattooed British comic-book hero Judge Dredd on Ernie's calf and a dragon around his forearm, had a design ready in a week.
Getting Simmons to sign it took some chutzpah.
Not that he was unwilling, Caltenback said. Simmons gladly obliged, the first time in the lobby of a Roanoke hotel and a few days later after the first of two shows in Fayetteville, N.C.
However, in Roanoke, he used a ballpoint pen and wrote up Ernie's leg; in Fayetteville, he signed below the tattoo, but the signature was tough to read. Caltenback tried again, on a Sunday afternoon, after the second concert.
``I said, `Gene, look, I hate to be pushy, but could you sign it like you do your guitar pick?' ''
He did: Gene $immons.
Next, Ernie played beat the clock.
``I knew Ancient Art closed at 4 p.m. (Sunday) and it was closed Monday,'' he said. ``I didn't make it back in time (for Thomas to ink over the autograph). I didn't take a shower for 2 1/2 days. I held my pants away from my leg at work to keep it from smearing.''
The tattoo ended up going international when Caltenback was in Los Angeles and ran into a friend of the band's - a guy named Nico - who asked if he could take a picture.
``Gene was collecting stuff with KISS on it,'' Caltenback said. ``I didn't know it was going to be in `KISStory' and `KISS My A--.' My friends from around the country called and said, `I heard you were on the new KISS album.' Even my dad had a promo copy before me.''
Ernie's other prize is a photo taken with the band last April aboard the USS Intrepid in New York, where KISS convened to announce its reunion tour.
``Getting a picture of all four of them in makeup is very rare. They're not doing any meet-and-greet before the shows,'' he said. ``It's the only thing I wanted. My friends kept saying, `It can't be done.' Well, it was done.''
Caltenback kept calling Mercury Records, KISS' label, but was told there was no word on the press conference - this was up until two days before the grapevine had it happening.
Then he heard from a friend in New York: Mercury was taking the names of fans for one hour. Ernie left his name and the name of Ron Whitmore, a friend in Colonial Heights, Va., who publishes the fanzine Kiss in Time.
On April 16, he and Whitmore found themselves sitting in the second row, with the writers and talking heads. Afterward, they noticed MTV was setting up for an inter-view.
``We knew something was going to happen, so we said let's hide in the bathroom,'' Caltenback said. ``We got caught there, so we kept hiding in different places for half an hour.''
When they emerged, all of the fans and most of the press and security staff had left. Simmons, Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss were standing around waiting on MTV. Whitmore marched right over and told one of the guards that Ernie was with him.
The tattoo got the band's attention. ``Ron goes, `Gene, get a picture?' I was shaking, hoping it would come out.''
Caltenback has an album of photos of himself with Roy Rogers, Alice Cooper, Marie Osmond, Mr. T, hockey great Bobby Orr and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. They all pale next to KISS.
``I show my friends the other pictures and they'll go, `Who's that guy?' `Is that . . . ?' But with this one, I don't have to say nothing. I just show it.''
Who put Ernie on the road to ``Detroit Rock City''?
His dad, a master diver in the Navy and avid stamp collector, for one. Ernie got the bug from him, and it's still a hobby. He attends KISS conventions all over the country to trade and upgrade - maybe pick up a game that isn't banged up or an LP with a cover that's not dog-eared.
As for KISS itself, the music and spectacle were a potent lure for many teenage boys. His brother took him to his first KISS concert. That was in Nashville in 1979, and he's seen every tour since. He caught their four-night stand this summer at New York's Madison Square Garden and will be on the 20th row Friday at Hampton Coliseum - if he can't do better. Ernie had good seats at the Garden, midway back on the side, but found some on the ninth row at nearly face value.
``There's always someone with extra tickets, someone who can't make it,'' he said. ``You just have to catch them at the right time. If the seat is right, I'll do it. I'll be looking for rows 1, 2 and 3 myself.''
Caltenback, who will see the band 10 times before the tour ends, has a pretty good fix on the KISS juggernaut, in part because of his own background as a musician. He plays guitar with local speed metalists Reign of Terror.
``If they started out now, it probably would never work. Music is oversaturated,'' he said. ``A lot of stuff is trendy. KISS was never trendy. Their music was heavy. It had a lot of originality. Put everything together - the show, the fact that they're the loudest band in the world - and you have a package.
``One reason people are going nuts is they didn't see them the first time, and if they miss them now, they'll miss the boat totally. I hate to say it, but this is probably a once-in-a-lifetime chance.''
The nostalgia appeal can't be discounted either. Neither can the camaraderie that comes with a KISS ticket. Everyone's there for a good time.
``A lot of fans grew up,'' Ernie said. ``We've got our own little group going. People you'd never expect to see me with - lawyers, cops, revenge of the nerd types and long-haired dope addicts - we have nothing in common except KISS.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color Ron Whitmore photos< RIGHT: Gene Simmons
autographed Ernie Caltenback's tattoo of the KISS bassist.
BELOW: Caltenback with the heroes.
LAWRENCE JACKSON/The Virginian-Pilot
Ernie Caltenback shows some of his KISS collection at his Norfolk
home.
Graphic
Ernie's KISS Quiz
[For complete copy, see microfilm]
Ernie's KISS Primer
[For complete copy, see microfilm]
Graphic
[BOX]
Want to Go?
[For complete copy, see microfilm] by CNB