THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, October 6, 1996 TAG: 9610080495
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K4 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: THE IMPERFECT NAVIGATOR
SOURCE: ALEXANDRIA BERGER
LENGTH: 92 lines
EACH NIGHT after George Delury put his disabled wife, Myrna Lebov, to sleep, he tiptoed into his study to meticulously document the days' events on his computer. Her weakening condition from multiple sclerosis, her depression, her mood swings, how they planned to do it.
He knew he had finally found his calling. The gracious caretaker assisting the disabled in suicide.
If this weren't an election year, Delury would go down in history as the classic mentally abusive caretaker, diabolical yet cunning. Lebov, his wife of many years, the classic innocent victim. But the state of New York let Delury go free for his role in his wife's death. The attorney general's office figured New York didn't need to get wrapped up in a Kevorkian blanket.
They were wrong.
There is assisted suicide and there is murder.
Here is a man whose first marriage ended when he abandoned his wife and their two children. He felt ``trapped,'' said Delury, excusing his behavior at the time as depressed and unstable.
Next, he meets and marries Myrna Lebov. He professes great love and devotion. No traps. They are each other's constant companions. Then, she gets sick. Enter trap. Being her caretaker requires Delury's personal time.
In front of family, George tells Myrna (as he reiterated for a rapt TV audience), ``You're sucking the life out of me like a vampire. Give me something to hope for. I have no life. You're a terrible burden to me. Your handicap is becoming my handicap.''
Ergo, why not just convince Myrna to kill herself?
First, Delury tells us he began to experiment with Myrna's medications, dumping potions into a glass and having her test them like a wine taster. This was too bitter. Add some honey. This was too sweet. Add a little lemon. Then, Delury complained to Myrna's doctors how depressed she was. More potent drugs.
Myrna unknowingly became Delury's partner in keeping his agenda hidden. Once mentally healthy, Myrna began to discuss suicide with her family and her physical therapist as she swam 30 laps in a pool each day. She was a burden to George, to everyone.
If we're told something long enough, we believe it.
On July 4, 1995, the United States and Delury celebrated Independence Day. Myrna took her life by ingesting a Delury-mixed potion. He felt he ``owed it to his wife to help her get out.'' His last diary entry was of her ``bravery'' at chug-a-lugging poison. Delury watched as Myrna fell asleep, then left her and went to his study to rest.
With no tape, no evidence that this was Myrna's actual wish, Delury dialed the police to inform them he had just helped his wife commit suicide.
Bravo, George.
The initial charge of second degree manslaughter was reduced to attempted manslaughter. Delury was sentenced to six months, of which he served four. His comment at being incarcerated: ``. . . the most stupid thing law enforcement has ever done.''
Delury plans to write a book and continue his speaking engagements, one of which is to promote the Hemlock Society.
Delury and Lebov's story played out Sept. 27 on NBC's ``Dateline.'' Never mentioned is the loophole assisted suicide provides without strict legislated guidelines.
The disabled are always trapped in some way, requiring the help of others to survive. Moreover, the disabled who complain that a caretaker is trying to kill, demoralize or abuse them often are viewed as paranoid, hallucinating or severely depressed. Feelings of fear or shame complicate the issue.
The precedent-setting decision in this case handcuffs the handicapped and gives absolute power to the caretaker. It's time to have our big government create some big guidelines, fast, before illness becomes the assistant for murder. MEMO: Write the Imperfect Navigator at the Virginian-Pilot, c/o Real
Life, 150 W. Brambleton Avenue, Norfolk, Va. 23510. ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
CHECK OUT THESE FUND-RAISERS
October is a busy month for fund-raisers for the disabled. Here
are a few:
Tour the Shore is a two-day bike tour Oct. 11-13 on Virginia's
Eastern Shore to raise money for lung disease research. Cyclists can
choose to ride 25, 40 or 60 miles. The non-refundable registration
is $25. Cyclists must raise a minimum of $150 in pledges. Tour the
Shore is sponsored by the American Lung Association. Register by
calling 1-800-LUNG-USA.
Hope House, which provides services for people with developmental
disabilities, is sponsoring two events.
The HopeStock Music Festival, at 8 p.m. Oct. 15 at the Naro
Cinema in Norfolk, features the Iguanas (Latin R & B).
Stockley Gardens Art Festival, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Oct. 19 and
noon to 5 p.m. Oct. 20, presents 140 artists and musical groups.
There will also be a gold brooch giveaway. Rain or shine. Free.
Muscular Dystrophy Association has two Jail Lock-Ups, in which
local celebrities try to raise more than $1,000 ``bail'' money. Oct.
24 at the Norfolk Marriott, and Oct. 31 at Norfolk Airport Hilton
From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. by CNB