THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 3, 1996 TAG: 9611010218
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 19 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: COVER STORY
SOURCE: BY NANCY LEWIS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: 83 lines
Rhyan Elizabeth Downing's four grandparents were all on hand for her birth Oct. 15 at Virginia Beach General Hospital. So was her father.
What made the unanimous show of support unusual was that the baby's parents, Tricia O'Rourke and Josh Downing, are unmarried and still in high school.
Almost from the beginning, the couple got positive feedback and support for their decision to keep and raise their child. It's not the traditional parental approach to teen-age pregnancy and unwed motherhood, but for the O'Rourkes and the Downings, it's the one that seemed best for the future of their children - and their grandchild.
Tricia, a senior at Cox High School, also got support from the Princess Anne Center for pregnant teens, where she enrolled last February and is continuing her studies.
All of this help combined offers Tricia, Josh and their daughter the chance for a bright future despite the difficulties they must face.
But the cooperation the teens have received from their parents wasn't automatic. There was a cooling off period, at least on the part of the fathers.
When Tricia's second self-administered pregnancy test was positive, she broke the news first to Josh.
``I said, `Oh, my God,' '' recalled Josh, who is 17. ``It scared me a little bit, but I was more frightened for her.''
Next, the teens told Josh's parents.
``We sat down, said I was pregnant,'' Tricia recalled. ``I was crying. His dad walked away, but his mom was supportive. Then his dad came back and said, `Josh, I love you no matter what.' ''
``He's a Disneyland dad,'' said Josh with a laugh. ``Doesn't want to see you grow up.''
Then Tricia told her parents.
``I told her I didn't mean to hurt her, but I'd done something dumb,'' Tricia recalled. ``She said, `you're pregnant,' and I said, `yes.' ''
``She told Dad,'' Tricia continued.
``He was upset, worried,'' Marianne O'Rourke recalled of her husband's reaction. ``But 40 minutes later he said, `I love my daughter,' then I said, `let's talk.' ''
Shawn O'Rourke is a Navy commander, but, he said, ``most importantly, I'm the father of a daughter I love a lot.''
``The family chose to stick together,'' Marianne O'Rourke said. ``The other option was to destroy the family.''
It was in April when Tricia got her first glimpse of the baby she carried, and it was an auspicious beginning:
A nubbin of hand flickered white against black, and Tricia O'Rourke was hooked.
She took the to-and-fro motion as greeting from the womb, and the bud of a smile started on her lips, then bloomed toothsome and full as that of any freckle-faced 16-year-old.
The fetus' ``wave'' was set in motion by an ultrasound sensor sweeping slowly back and forth across the abdomen of the teen, who was worried because an alphafetoprotein test performed just the day before had come back positive. The ultrasound of her developing baby might confirm suspicions that it had Down syndrome, spina bifida or anencephaly. It didn't.
But even if it had, Tricia said she would remain firm in her determination to give birth to her baby, to keep it and raise it.
``I wouldn't have gotten pregnant on purpose, but I can't change it now,'' she said last spring. ``Everyone said I'd ruined my future, so I'm going to prove them wrong.''
Now that the baby has arrived, Tricia is trying to make good on that promise.
Last week, she started back to classes at the Princess Anne Center. In about five weeks, she'll return to her regular classroom at Cox High.
Tricia and Josh are sharing responsibility for the care of their infant, but they have no intention of marrying. They are alternating residences between the O'Rourkes' Great Neck home and the Downings' Oceana house on weekends so both families can be involved. And at least one of the two teens is learning how to sleep comfortably alone on a sofa, Marianne O'Rourke is quick to add.
That family support allows the youngsters to continue dreaming.
Tricia would like to be a psychologist someday, and Josh, an Ocean Lakes High School senior, has plans to teach. ILLUSTRATION: Staff photos by D. KEVIN ELLIOTT\ Tricia O'Rourke, a
senior, is the mother of Rhyan Elizabeth Downing, who was born Oct.
15. The father - not husband - is Josh Downing. by CNB