THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1997, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, January 18, 1997 TAG: 9701180083
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E5 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Issues of Faith
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: 88 lines
ONLY A FEW weeks ago, upon my family's return from Christmas travels, I did some catch-up newspaper reading and stumbled upon the obituary of a dear friend, John W. VanLuik. I knew John had been ill for a long time. I knew his death was imminent. Still, seeing his name on that page was startling.
(Death catches us all by surprise, even when we know it's coming.)
John's obituary was of average size with all the normal details. He died in his home on Christmas Eve. He was 80. He left a widow, Edna; a daughter, a son and a sister. He had worked for Southern States Cooperative. He canoed. He was a member of Oak Grove United Methodist Church.
What wasn't told in the simple obituary were the things that made John so special. Those things are harder to put in a few lines.
John VanLuik died as he had lived: surrounded by and exuding love. Though plagued by cancer for the last few years, John remained sunny and optimistic till the end. His wife, Edna, told me that when he turned 80 on Dec. 8 - just weeks before he died - John got his driver's permit renewed. He was a man with places to go, even in his final days.
``He told me he wasn't afraid of dying,'' Edna said. ``He just hated to leave his family.''
Edna was John's best friend and the light of his life. Last Feb. 4 - during one of the worst ice storms in recent memory - they celebrated 60 years of marriage. One of my fondest memories is hearing John call Edna ``Mama,'' and seeing him pat her hand and gaze at her with the look of a schoolboy feeling his first crush.
John was a devoted father and he loved kids of all ages. Three years ago, when their church youth group needed chaperones for a mission trip to Georgia, John and Edna signed up. They drove their camper, lent the group their mini-van, chaperoned the boys who went on the trip, joined in the daytime work projects and nightly devotions . . . and still found the energy to tell delightful ``remember when'' tales to the enthralled kids before bedtime.
For almost eight years, I had the privilege of working with John on many church councils and committees. What I loved most about the man is a trait hard to describe on paper: integrity.
I remember many incidents that bore witness to John's integrity, but one stands out in my memory. Our church had a parcel of land that our businessman neighbor wanted to purchase. A fair price had been discussed and a church-wide meeting was called to debate whether or not we should sell the land.
At some point in the meeting, people began to realize, ``Hey, we've got ourselves an anxious buyer here,'' and the mumbling began. Soon folks were proposing that we jack up the price of the land, offering sound supply-and-demand reasoning for such a price hike. There we were - and I say we, because I was right with the pack - a church with debts getting excited over the smell of easy money.
In the middle of the hubbub, John VanLuik stood up and in his quiet, humble style, reminded us that we were a church and that Jesus wouldn't want us to ``gouge our neighbor'' in order to put our checkbook in the black.
In shame, we hung our heads and voted as John, exemplifying Jesus Christ, had led us.
And then he did something really remarkable. He refused to act self-righteous and proud about his stand, shooing away those who thanked him for it later. He refused to humiliate us for abandoning our honor. He refused to gloat for sticking to his.
Almost 2,000 years ago, the Christian Apostle Paul put his own spin on the ``true integrity'' deal. He wrote a letter to the churches of Galatia, encouraging the people not to abandon the Gospel. Within that letter, Paul warned the Galatians of the works of the flesh and told them to seek instead the ``fruit of the Spirit'' of God.
What is the fruit of God's Spirit? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
In a word, integrity.
In a person, John W. VanLuik.
Columnist's Note: I realize this has been a deeply personal column, to which it might be difficult for readers to respond. My hope, however, is that it will get readers to think about this: What is integrity, and how is it maintained in this world of trials and temptations? Let me know next week. MEMO: Every other week, Betsy Mathews Wright publishes responses to her
opinion column. Send responses to Issues of Faith, The Virginian-Pilot,
921 N. Battlefield Blvd., Chesapeake, VA 23320; call 446-2273; FAX (804)
436-2798; or send computer message via bmw(AT)infi.net. Deadline is
Tuesday prior to publication. Must include name, city and phone number. ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
DISCUSSION GROUP
The next Faith Discussion Group will meet Tuesday, Feb. 25, 7-9
p.m., at Ohef Sholom Temple, 530 Raleigh Ave., Norfolk. For
directions, call 625-4295. The topic will be ``Our image of God:
what it is and how it is formed.''