THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1997, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 26, 1997 TAG: 9701260060
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Guy Friddell
LENGTH: 51 lines
Lest anyone still thinks that poor, put-upon Father knows best in this wild and woolly world, there's a plot afoot to remove any doubt that he doesn't.
It's most apparent in a TV commercial by MSNBC News, Channel 23, featuring new, young and disgustingly handsome anchor Brian Williams, who looks like an American cousin to ABC's Canadian-born anchorman, Peter Jennings.
Of MSNBC News, Williams says, ``We take the entire day and cull it down and bring to you the people who are making the news.''
And, after more palaver about MSNBC News, Williams pauses and concludes, ``This is not your father's newscast!''
What in the name of commentator H.V. Kaltenborn, my own father's favorite newscaster a long time ago, is this sprout Williams talking about?
By the way, do you know why it used to be said that Kaltenborn wouldn't even speak to John Cameron Swayze?
Because John was just a common 'tater.
And do you know why radio announcers back then had little hands?
Small paws for station identification - which they don't take anymore, thereby ruining a perfectly good joke.
(That idiotic digression demonstrates why I'd never be a great debater like William Jennings Bryan, no relation to Peter.
(I'd get going good to make a point and all of a sudden break away to tell a lousy story like a bird dog leaving a point on a partridge to chase a squirrel.)
Is Jennings - no, wait a minute - is WILLIAMS bent on driving a wedge between the already wedge-riven generations?
While casting the news, didn't Williams notice that poll asserting that the nation's retirees have more disposable income than any other segment of the population except teen-agers?
The malls are rife with teens and seniors spending money madly, saving the economy. . .
There the generational extremes commune. Many of my vintage friends show up to take power walks when the malls open, joined shortly by teens who come to lounge around, a role reversal if there ever was one.
Two young colleagues in this newsroom, Karen Weintraub and Kathryn Darling, just called over to set me straight.
Brian Williams, they say, was no doubt taking off on another advertising slogan, ``This is not your father's Oldsmobile!''
I withdraw my objection. My faith is restored in young Williams, although his throw-away line was well nigh inscrutable to someone brought up on Kaltenborn.
He better look out, or Don Imus will get him like the goblins got Little Orphan Annie.