THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1997, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, February 5, 1997 TAG: 9702050007
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A10 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Letter
LENGTH: 36 lines
I have just read the article about Melissa Lockwood, the girl whose parents have begun a court battle to reclaim the baby she put up for adoption.
This is only the latest instance, of course, in which someone has put a baby up for adoption and then changed her mind months or even years later. We've all seen the heart-rending stories on TV or in print, and we know these cases are never settled without great destruction all around. So why is it, then, that after more than a decade of Baby M's and Baby Jessicas, we still don't have an ironclad federal adoption law that states: Once you sign away your rights to your baby, that's it. Period, paragraph.
The decision to give a baby up is every bit as serious as the decision to have an abortion. And it must be, once made, every bit as final a decision.
The only person whose welfare and emotional well-being should be considered is the child. It didn't ask for this to happen, it is utterly innocent, and unless the adoptive parents are abusing it, there can be only one correct resolution: The baby's parents are the people who have adopted it, and no one else. It should in fact be against federal law to find or to assist in finding a child given up for adoption until the child is 21. No ``visitation,'' no apologies.
I was not adopted, and, at 36, do not and have never wanted children of my own - partly because I have recognized the immensity of sacred responsibilities that come with the decision to have children. And the very first responsibility is this: If you are not ready to give your baby your own life from well before the time it is born, then you should give it to someone who is. Then walk away, and don't ever look back.
That's an act of love, too.
CHARLOTTE S. GRAHAM-CLARK
Virginia Beach, Jan. 22, 1997