DATE: Thursday, November 6, 1997 TAG: 9711050703 SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 03 EDITION: FINAL TYPE: THUMBS UP SOURCE: BY FRANK ROBERTS, STAFF WRITER LENGTH: 109 lines
Dorothy Bradshaw was an excellent bridge player. She remembered her cards, she knew how to bid - she knew how to win.
About five years ago, though, the scenario became a bridge over troubled waters.
``She'd come home from a game and tell me she was getting bad cards,'' said her husband, John. ``Edith Hurff, my sister-in-law, would tell me - Dorothy's not playing the cards correctly.''
That seemed to be the start of Alzheimer's disease.
``She'd leave a burner on for a long time,'' 84-year-old John Bradshaw said, ``or she'd turn the wrong one on.''
There were more wrong turns - there was more to worry about - enough for him to realize that he had to take her to see a doctor.
Then there was another doctor and another doctor - opinions and more opinions - and tests and more tests.
That is a common scenario because the symptoms associated with Alzheimer's can mimic many other medical problems, causing misdiagnosis.
``She begged me to find out what was wrong,'' said John Bradshaw.
``When I was first told she had Alzheimer's I tried to overlook it,'' John Bradshaw said. ``I tried to think - it wasn't.''
Dorothy Bradshaw had joined the ranks of the 4 million Americans suffering from the disease that has been called, ``the death of the mind.''
The cruel disease takes control of the mind, and strips it of its memories.
Alzheimer's is more than not recalling what cards to play, or how long the burner has been on.
It's a progressive, degenerative disease that attacks the brain and results in impaired memory, thinking and behavior, according to literature distributed by a pharmaceutical association.
The cause is unclear. Because of that, prevention is impossible. It can be treated, but its progression cannot be stopped.
Adding to her problem was a fall at home.
``She broke her hip. The doctor said he'd have to give her an anesthetic. He said it was liable to make the Alzheimer's worse,'' John Bradshaw said. ``It did. I'd advise anyone in a similar position - if there's a broken bone, put it in a cast - no anesthesia.''
John Bradshaw is unable to care for his wife at home. She has been living at Nansemond Pointe Rehabilitation and Healthcare Centre for five years.
And, for five years - every day without fail - Bradshaw has made the 30-minute trip from Hobson to be with her.
``I stay from 3:30 to 7,'' he said. ``I don't think she recognizes me, but you can't tell because she can't talk.
``Up to a month ago, I had hopes she might come back home. They were false hopes,'' Bradshaw said. ``I decided to take her off forced feeding. If she acts like she wants anything, she'll eat, but she has a swallowing problem.
``She hasn't lost any weight in a month,'' he said., ``She'd been choking so bad, they had to force feed her. Now, the doctor said not to - just keep her comfortable.''
Some people are uncomfortable visiting Dorothy Bradshaw.
``Family and friends visit regularly, some more than others,'' her husband said. ``Some people can't stand to see her the way she is. I don't understand that.
``I sit by her bed and hold her hand. I talk to her about yard work, things I do at home. She enjoyed yard work - picking up pine cones. That was what she liked to do.''
Bradshaw smiles as he remembers what his wife cannot remember.
He is 6 feet tall, speaks softly, talks easily about the love he has for his wife, a love that almost seems to overpower the disease.
Bradshaw shows a photograph taken in 1985, a happy, lovely memento of their 50th wedding anniversary. Then, he shows a recent picture, as contrasting in mood as love and hate.
Wordlessly, it illustrates the frightening story of a disease expected to become even more prevalent as the population of older Americans is increasing.
Bradshaw is concentrating on life, the life he enjoyed so much with his Chuckatuck High school sweetheart wife.
``We were married after she graduated in 1936, and honeymooned at Fort Peck, Mont. I went to work there, building a dam,'' he said. ``We always enjoyed camping - took a 13-week trip after I retired in `73.''
Bradshaw retired from the Norfolk Naval Shipyard, then worked as a James River Bridge toll collector, quitting after two years to make that camping trip.
She was a housewife, working part time as a telephone operator in Smithfield.
She was a book club member, worked with the Junto Woman's Club, Daughters of the American Revolution, and Order of the Eastern Star. The Bradshaws were regulars at Wesley Chapel United Methodist Church.
``We enjoyed that. She was active in all church work. I still go there,'' said Bradshaw, who describes his wife as, ``a very agreeable person. She was never demanding, just an easy person to get along with. She enjoyed raising our kids.''
Drexel, 59, is a retired Navy captain; Dwight, 53, is a dentist. There are four grandchildren, one great-grandchild.
They all live a few steps from the Holly Point Lane house on Chuckatuck Creek where Bradshaw lives with his pointer, Susie.
He will participate Saturday in the Alzheimer's Walk, a fund-raising event at Lone Star Lakes.
``I wonder why this happened to her. I don't think I'm bitter, but I don't know how to explain it. Neither one of us has ever been bad - we never ran around, never drank, we participated in community affairs.
``Tell someone who recognizes the symptoms not to be bitter,'' Bradshaw said. ``Be very careful how you talk to the patient. You never know what they can understand.
``Give them a lot of love. They can't respond, but give `em a hug. Love them.'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo
John and Dorothy Bradshaw celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary
in 1985.
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