DATE: Monday, March 3, 1997                 TAG: 9703010012

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B11  EDITION: FINAL 

TYPE: OPINION 

SOURCE: ANN SJOERDSMA

                                            LENGTH:   79 lines

HANGING IN THE BREEZE, HON, WITH ELVIS - AND PILOT READERS

During my intermittent newspaper career, I've been overwhelmed by reader ``response'' three times. Readers basically tore up my smug hide. No mercy. I yearned for a disguise.

The first time I was a ``clever'' college sophomore writing a less than complimentary piece about my visit to a North Carolina Pentecostal church. I compared my ``exposure'' to this form of worship to when I was 3 and my harried mother forgot to put my underwear on before going to Sunday School. Bare bottom, hanging in the breeze.

The second time I told mournful Elvis Presley fans to ``get over it already'' - about a month after his Aug. 16, 1977, death. Talk about a slaughter.

And the third time I committed similar sacrilege by telling the fine people of Baltimore what was wrong with their term of endearment, ``hon.'' Fightin' words.

Believe me, I listened.

I haven't written an Elvis or a ``hon'' column lately, but I have struck some chords and some nerves in the past few months. So if you'll indulge me, I'd like to respond to some of the responses I've received to columns on everything from civil liberties to Girl Scout cookies.

Just last week I chastised a N.C. superior court judge for grossly insensitive comments that he made during the sentencing in a statutory-rape case plea-bargained to misdemeanor assault. Some readers rightly wanted to know more about the prosecutors' decision-making.

I knew more about it, but because of source confidentiality, space and focus, I chose not to elaborate. My primary intent was to single out the judge's blase and sexist attitude. His accountability.

One reader criticized me for omitting gun control in my November column about federal government ``quick fixes'' that infringe on civil liberties. No omission, really. My focus was on privacy rights, and the list of quick fixes wasn't meant to be comprehensive.

Another man wondered why I ``discriminated'' in my column about the Paula Jones ``sexual harassment'' case by leaving out former Sen. Bob Packwood. Simple. I wasn't writing about him.

From such responses, I learn more about how people read, about their perceptions and expectations. Their focus.

After my double-jeopardy column of a fortnight ago, several readers asked me about the Rodney King and Yankel Rosenbaum federal prosecutions: ``So, were they double jeopardy or not?'' Answer: Not as far as any court has determined, but a legal argument could be made. In fact, the ACLU voted that the King trial was double jeopardy; and the attorney for Lemrick Nelson Jr., convicted of violating Rosenbaum's civil rights, has said he will raise the Fifth Amendment issue on appeal.

But this confusion told me that I didn't get to the heart of the double-jeopardy quandary. I plan to revisit it.

My recent reminiscence about a simpler time for Girl Scout cookie sales - before quotas, cookie chairmen and fathers peddling boxes at work - drew correction: Door-to-door sales, readers said, are not extinct. Others homed in on Food Lion, a supermarket I had mentioned in a generic sense.

Unbeknownst to me, Food Lion and the Girl Scouts have a history of testy relations. Some stores have banished the Scouts and their cookie booths from their premises. But the manager of the Nags Head, N.C., Food Lion assures me that the girls will be out front on March 16.

My favorite rebuke came from ``Net Surfer and Dad,'' who ``vehemently denounced'' my October column on the Internet's failings as an ``educational tool'' for elementary school kids - as the Clinton-Gore team was touting. He offered to take me to the cyber-Promised Land if I was ``brave enough'' to call him. ``I dare you,'' he added, invitingly.

Surfer Dad characterized me as a relic, a fascist and a likely book banner. Thanks, Dad. But, he agreed, the Net is not for everyone: ``It's only for the kids and teachers who dig being able to find out cool stuff, and apply it to their schooling.''

Now, if I were to do that column over, I probably would give the Internet more credit. As a tool for adults. Not for 8-year-olds.

In communicating through a newspaper, I'm always hanging in the breeze. But I now have a heckuva Elvis collection for comfort, hon. And I am most grateful to everyone who writes or calls to give me a piece of his or her mind. MEMO: Ann G. Sjoerdsma, an attorney, is an editorial columnist and book

editor for The Virginian-Pilot.

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