DATE: Saturday, March 15, 1997              TAG: 9703150316

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B1   EDITION: FINAL 

TYPE: Column 

SOURCE: Guy Friddell 

                                            LENGTH:   57 lines

MISSING CAT'S TALE DESERVES TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING

Thoughts while floating:

And noticing signs posted on utility poles around Norfolk's Algonquin Park that conveyed anguish even in the black block print:

MY CAT ``SAM''

HAS BEEN

MISSING SINCE

FEBRUARY 28

It noted that Sam, a grayish-black male cat, has white markings on his face and declawed feet. It offered a reward for his safe return. Call 423-4251 or 423-1616.

Sam's owner, Joan Miller, said Sam also has a large white V-mark on his throat that points to his ``magnificent'' white underparts.

They met when somebody threw him as a kitten from a car in McLean. She picked him up and a vet patched him up and Sam grew to a handsome cat of 25 pounds.

With such a rocky start, Sam deserves a happy ending, which some sympathetic person may assure by returning him to Joan Miller.

And in a letter, ODU librarian Cynthia Wright Swaine passes along clever names from ``The Cat Who Tailed a Thief'' by mystery writer Lilian Jackson (Mrs. Earl Bettinger of the Outer Banks).

Among the fetching names are Holy Terror, the pet of a retired pastor; Beethoven, a cat born deaf; Wrigley, a cat from Chicago; Magnificat, a church cat; Metro, short for metronome, a cat who sits on a piano and twitches her tail in time; Stir Fry, a shrimp addict; Long John Silver, a big gray cat; Chairman Meow; a trio, Oedipuss, Octopuss, Platypuss; and a pair, one lively, Allegro, the other sedate, Adagio.

Her friends Jenny and Harold Johnson signed their Christmas cards with their cats, Samson and Delilah. Further, Norfolk residents Phil and Vicki Caminer once had a cat named Licorice.

How is it people who own cats are so clever? Comes through association, I guess.

My animadversion on ``Riverdance'' brings Wayne Kelley of Richmond right to the point:

``I have no hang-ups concerning your criticism because it is quite clear that you have no idea what you are talking about. . . . And on top of that, who cares what you think about `Riverdance'?''

That should give you manic Riverdancers peace of mind.

More than a year ago a reader drove home the difference between the noun ``loan'' miscast as the verb ``lend'' by changing the opening of Mark Antony's eulogy of dead Caesar to read: ``Friends, Romans, countrymen, loan me your ears.''

I prized that contribution and regretted having misplaced the letter identifying her. Now I rejoice at being able to credit Carolyn Carver Johnson of Franklin. Next time I'm up that way I'll treat her to an ice cream soda. If they still have 'em. ILLUSTRATION: Color Illustration

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