DATE: Wednesday, April 9, 1997              TAG: 9704090057

SECTION: DAILY BREAK             PAGE: E1   EDITION: FINAL 
SOURCE: LARRY BONKO

                                            LENGTH:   99 lines

10 FAVORITE SHOWS THAT GIVE ME GUILTY PLEASURE

WITH THE arrival of ``Buffy, the Vampire Slayer'' on the Warner Brothers network comes a change at the top of my list of television's 10 best (or is it worst?) guilty pleasures.

Buffy is in, Xena is out.

``Buffy, the Vampire Slayer'' has replaced ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' as my No. 1 TV guilty pleasure. Buffy is not only cooler and cuter than Xena, and just as fearless, but she's also still in high school.

Who wouldn't want a daughter just like Buffy?

My parade of guilty pleasures:

1. ``Buffy, the Vampire Slayer,'' Monday night at 9, WVBT - How's a girl to get her homework done when a coven of vampires, a giant praying mantis and other monsters charging through the gates of Hades threaten her schoolmates? No time for term papers. Buffy has beasts to vanquish, hence the wooden stakes in her knapsack. Valley Girl Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy hits the right note - serious about her mission but never letting it get in the way of shopping at the Gap.

2. ``Xena, Warrior Princess,'' Saturday at 7 p.m. WTVZ; Sunday at 1:30 a.m., WGN - Here's a series with plenty to keep you from channel surfing: butt-kicking action, fantasy, sensational stunts, beautiful babes in leather, hunky guys, snappy one-liners and a little blood lust. Is it any wonder ``Xena'' is the No. 1 syndicated drama?

3. ``Reel Wild Cinema,'' USA, Monday night at 1:30 a.m. and Saturday night at 4:30 a.m. - Sandra Bernhard hosts a show with clips of films from the 1950s and 1960s that are so bad, they're good, to quote Bernhard. Not long ago, Bernhard rolled out scenes from ``She-Devils on Wheels,'' featuring reckless biker chicks, and ``The Astounding She-Monster,'' which could have been subtitled, ``The Astounding She-Monster From Outer Space.''

4. ``Vega$,'' Monday through Friday at 10 a.m. on fX - Robert Urich has starred in more than a dozen TV series, but he's never been better than private eye Dan Tanna in ``Vega$'' with his nifty red Thunderbird convertible, knockout assistants Bea and Angie, dopey sidekick Binzer and assignments that put him in touch with glamour and gaming in Las Vegas. In 1978, when the series premiered, there was nothing so hip on TV as Tanna in dark shades cruising The Strip in his T-Bird while talking on the car phone. I wanted to be Dan Tanna.

5. ``La Femme Nikita,'' Monday night at 10, USA - She's young. She's great-looking. She's a highly trained but reluctant assassin, heeding such orders as, ``Take him down!'' Aussie Peta Wilson stars in the series (inspired by a 1991 French film), dashing about in black leather and long blonde hair, with an enormous pistol in her belt. She's mugged, tortured, stalked by terrorists. Is it any wonder she wants out?

But that will never happen. Her bosses in Section One have committed her to life on the edge. A killer for hire. Like Dirty Harry, she's charmingly ruthless

6. ``The Jenny McCarthy Show,'' Wednesday night at 10:30, MTV - Jenny has a dazzling blonde presence. And guess what? She also has great timing, as in comedic timing. McCarthy is the 1990s' Suzanne Somers - seductive, smart, good at skit comedy, and not afraid to make fun of herself, as she did in show No. 1 when she thrashed puppets that were obsessed with her chest.

``The Jenny McCarthy Show'' is at times tasteless, which is the norm for MTV programming. Even when her show is grossing out the audience, if that is possible on MTV, McCarthy shows she can pull in the laughs. Don't be surprised if she hits it big in an NBC sitcom next fall.

7. ``Bzzz,'' Monday through Friday, WGNT, 3:30 p.m. (new time) and Monday through Friday, 7:30 p.m., WGN - This is a little of ``Love Connection,'' a little of ``The Dating Game,'' a little of ``Singled Out.'' Host Anne Wood says it's about having a blind date you can ditch just by pressing a buzzer. ``Whoomph!'' Men and women are exploited equally on this show.

8. ``Saved by the Bell'' and ``Saved by the Bell: The College Years,'' Monday through Friday, 5:30, WPEN; 5:05 p.m., WTBS; 6 p.m., WGN - For cable subscribers, every day is a ``Bell'' festival with five episodes available. See Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) evolve from a skinny kid to a waitress at a bar not unlike Hooters. Kelly, Zack, Screech, A.C. Slater and their pals have been a fixture on TV for almost a decade.

Hard-core ``Bell'' watchers like the ``College Years'' episodes best because Screech gets a life and actually steals dates from Zack.

9. ``Strange Universe,'' Monday through Friday, 11 p.m., WVBT - Former WAVY weekend anchor Emmett Miller hosts this half hour that uncovered a cult of space-alien worshipers long before that nasty business near San Diego. Members of the Valley of the Dawn say they commune with invisible space visitors around 12:30 every afternoon. Of late, Miller has brought on husband and wife ghost hunters. Did I say ``ghost''? I mean, ``paranormal energy vortex.'' Miller's a rock. I've never seen him smile or snicker.

10. ``Married . . . With Children,'' Monday night at 9, Fox; Monday through Friday, 3:30 p.m, WGNT (new time) - The Bundys have been around since 1987, which makes ``Married'' the longest running sitcom on TV. Al Bundy's favorite food groups are still grease and salt, and he still refers to wife Peg as the couch monster. America's appetite for raunchiness has yet to be satisfied by the Bundys. The cast of late has been griping that the show is consistently passed over in the competition for Emmys. The gripe is legitimate.

Look under the layer of Al's chauvinism, the sexploitation of dumb blond daughter Kelly and Peg's indifference to everything that isn't on ``Oprah,'' and you have a sharply written sitcom that connects with the trailer-park trash in all of us.

So, what do you think of my list? You're invited to check in with your TV guilty pleasures by calling me on Infoline (640-5555, press 2486). Gotta run. It's almost time for ``Chopper Chicks in Zombietown.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

Sarah Michelle Gellar plays ``Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.''

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