DATE: Saturday, April 26, 1997              TAG: 9704250019

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B6   EDITION: FINAL 

TYPE: Opinion 

SOURCE: BY RON J. CLARK 

                                            LENGTH:   60 lines

DO YOU SPELL ``DAD'' D-A-D OR A-F-D-C?

It is a well-known fact that a great number of children in the United States are growing up in fatherless households. Furthermore, it is common knowledge that this represents a serious risk factor for children to be exposed to an infinite number of social ills (poverty, crime, teen-age pregnancy, suicide, etc.)

On the other hand, there are women who manage to ``single-handedly'' raise children who become an asset to society. Many are single parents for good reason (example - abuse of mother or child). Moreover, they do an excellent job and should receive applause. However, what is not often communicated is the need for program and policy support toward encouraging and equipping absentee fathers to be present and involved fathers.

What has happened over the past years with the breakdown of the American family and the unfortunate exodus of fathers from the lives of their child(ren) is a conscious effort to teach women and children how to exist without dad. It is often taught that you can count on the government check each month but not the child support check. Under welfare policies and programs, government functions as the ``breadwinner'' and ``provider.'' Through various federal aid programs for mothers with children, basic needs are taken care of. The result is the federal government has become dad and its children know how to spell its name - A-F-D-C.

Furthermore, several programs with good intentions for teen-age mothers operate, in part, with the purpose of equipping teen-age girls to survive without the father's support or involvement in the child's life.

This philosophy is understandable. Indeed, many temporary biological fathers have not fulfilled their role as permanent social fathers. Many have seriously misunderstood the role of fatherhood, and after the birth of the baby no recognition of the existence of father is to be found on the birth certificate.

For many children of teen-age parents, it is clear whose name ought to be printed in the father box. The first name should be ``Department,'' the middle name ought to be ``of'' and the last name ``Social Services.'' In essence, the government through various programs has provided for all of the child's basic needs.

The true reality is that children need ``social dads'' more than they need ``Social Services.'' The physical presence of social dad is also part of the child's basic needs. Society has seen the direct negative results of fatherless households which have no correlation with poverty. William Barr, former U.S. attorney, appropriately stated:

``If you look at one factor that most closely correlates with crime, it's not poverty, it's not employment, it's not education. It's the absence of the father from the family.''

In sum, it is both logical and critical that a public-policy shift take place at all levels of government to encourage and equip absentee fathers to re-enter the lives of their children. As Fred Rogers put it ``Strengthen a parent . . . and you strengthen a child.'' MEMO: Ron J. Clark of Virginia Beach is a mental-health professional

working with teen-age fathers. He also speaks and does workshops on

responsible fatherhood. KEYWORDS: ANOTHER VIEW

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