DATE: Friday, May 16, 1997                  TAG: 9705160987

SECTION: SPORTS                  PAGE: C1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BOB MOLINARO

                                            LENGTH:   57 lines

NEBULOUS TEAM NAME WON'T HELP PUT A CITY ON THE MAP

Nowheresville: We hear about major league sports franchises putting cities on the map, but when an NHL team moves to Raleigh, N.C., the name given to it is Carolina Hurricanes. Is that North Carolina? South Carolina? East? West? Even Rand McNally would need more of a hint.

Hard to stomach: The Heat-Knicks series is to basketball what pork rinds are to nouvelle cuisine.

TV timeout: Ratings for NBA playoff coverage on NBC are down from a year ago. Why? See previous note.

Hoop du jour: The Heat are now favored to beat the Knicks, four falls to three.

Idle thought: When Rupert Murdoch takes over the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Fox TV network should rename its baseball coverage ``Married . . . with fungoes.''

Counting down: Now that Mario Lemieux has skated his final shift, the NHL is only one more retirement (Wayne Gretzky's) away from another identity crisis.

For what it's worth: It's true that the Celtics have not lost a game since Rick Pitino took over. But those who question Larry Bird's benchside acumen must acknowledge, too, that, for the time being, he's the NBA's only undefeated coach.

Glorified gopher: Whoever takes the Celtics general manager's job that Bird turned down will be working as Pitino's valet.

Futurewatch: After the Lakers' anemic playoff effort against Utah, you can add Los Angeles to the list of teams Phil Jackson is rumored to be coaching next season.

The headliner: Asked about surpassing Roger Maris' single-season home run record, Seattle centerfielder Ken Griffey Jr. says, ``If you hit 62 and you're at home in October, what does that mean? But if you can hit 40 and you get to do what the Yankees did last year and jump all over your teammates, that's more important.''

Career achievement: Choosing a most valuable player is an imperfect science, so be happy for Utah Jazz stalwart Karl Malone if he's this year's NBA selection. No superstar works harder.

Swan song: Whether the Bulls win another championship or not, can you blame Chicago management for unloading Dennis Rodman after the season? Consider it done.

The vanishing: Members of the Witness Protection Program are more conspicuous than Albert Belle this spring.

Fans needed: Talk of Title IX often focuses on the unwillingness of men to embrace female sports, but the gal jocks may suffer more from a lack of spectator interest by women.

Exhibit A: The latest golf boom doesn't seem to have included the LPGA, which is regularly eclipsed by the Senior guys.

Nit picking: People who refer to runs batted in as ``RBI'' instead of the more conversational ``RBIs'' are flirting with obnoxiousness.

Selling himself: Fans of Shaquille O'Neal will be happy to know that the Lakers got their playoffs out of the way in time for him to tape a new Pepsi commercial. So the spring hasn't been a complete loss for Shaq after all.

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