
DATE: Thursday, May 22, 1997                TAG: 9705220468

SECTION: FRONT                   PAGE: A1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY DIANE TENNANT, STAFF WRITER 

DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH                    LENGTH:   76 lines

PROGRAM HELPS NAVY FAMILIES COPE WITH LONG DEPLOYMENTS

``My daddy come my house, one more day.''

Four-year-old Kristina Booker grinned at her mother.

``One more day and a wake up,'' Rhonda Booker reminded.

Time is ticking down for the return of the Theodore Roosevelt battle group. Eight of the vessels return to Hampton Roads today, and three more ships dock on Friday. Aboard them are thousands of parents who will step ashore to find their children six months more grown up.

Rhonda Booker has been through three deployments during seven years of marriage. It never gets any easier.

But her children had help this time. Shelton Park Elementary School, whose population is 80 percent military, runs a support group for children whose parents are deployed. Guidance counselor Donna McInturff, who grew up in a military family, organized the program to help the children handle the stress, grief and anger of losing a parent for half the year.

``My father was in the military, the Army, but we traveled with him,'' McInturff said. ``I've never been separated from my father. So I cannot imagine what it would be like. Six months is a long time.''

Valerie Jones' youngest son kept asking her why she had left Daddy on the ship. Theresa Hagen's son announced that he was the man of the house while his father was gone, and she wasn't allowed to discipline him. And Rhonda Booker's daughter just couldn't see an end to her dad's six months aboard the Pensacola.

``We counted down, but it just seemed so far away for her,'' Booker said. ``It's hard, raising two kids by yourself. He called us from every port. We've got phone bills to prove it.''

Booker turned to daughter Brienne, 6. ``What are you going to do when Dad gets home?''

``Hug him.''

``And what else?''

``Kiss him.''

``And tell him what?''

``I love him.''

A long deployment takes a toll on children, especially those old enough to miss a parent, but too young to understand exactly how long - or short - six months can be. The support group helped, Booker said.

``They got to talk to other kids that had their dads gone, too,'' she said. ``They all had something in common.''

Debbie Ferrell was left at home with a 3-month-old baby and a young daughter. Then she got the flu. Halfway through deployment, it was almost too much. But 8-year-old Missy came through for her mother.

``It was incredible how she could sit there and hold me in her arms and say, `It's OK; Dad will be home soon','' Ferrell said. ``It's hard to describe a father like my husband. He's an excellent father. To have him go for six months is like taking part of your life away.''

The support group tracked the ships on maps. They made cards for the missing parents. And they used the school's computer to send e-mail back and forth.

The hardest part, Booker said, was at night. ``For the first couple months, it's just Mom there, Daddy's not there to tuck them in at night. I remember when the ship left, we watched it pull away. They started screaming, `I want my Daddy.' '' She paused.

``Are you gonna cry?'' demanded Brienne.

``I'll be crying Friday, too,'' Booker assured her daughter. ``For all different reasons.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

BETH BERGMAN/The Virginian-Pilot

Donna McInturff, a guidance counselor at Shelton Park Elementary

School in Virginia Beach, talks to Kristina Booker, 4, about her

father's homecoming.

Photo

NHAT MEYER/The Virginian-Pilot

Joe Barnes cuddles with his daughters, Lindsey, 3 1/2, left, and

Molly, 2, at Oceana Naval Air Station on Wednesday as his wife,

Carrol, looks on.