DATE: Friday, June 6, 1997                  TAG: 9706060617

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY MATTHEW BOWERS, STAFF WRITER 

DATELINE: SUFFOLK                           LENGTH:  157 lines

WHAT DO GUIDANCE COUNSELORS DO? PRINCIPALS CLAIM THE WORKERS NOT ONLY HELP STUDENTS' SELF-ESTEEM, BUT MUST DEAL WITH SOCIETY PROBLEMS.

Two girls, two sweatshirts, two sets of freckles, one possible emergency.

``We need to talk to you, kind of right away,'' the shorter of the two said earnestly, her ponytail bobbing. Her taller companion said nothing, but bit her fingernails.

Faye L. Nicholson, guidance counselor at Northern Shores Elementary School, took Ponytail by the hand and led her and Nailbiter down the hall and around the corner to her office, closing the door behind them. All three sat around a low table. Ponytail talked; Nicholson listened and jotted notes.

After a few minutes, the girls emerged and headed to class.

``Sometimes their emergencies aren't as big as they think,'' the counselor said, smiling. ``It was a problem at the bus stop.''

Thus began another school day for Nicholson, a teacher for more than two decades and a counselor for eight years.

This is part of what she does each day - listen to students who have a problem or a concern, who are confused or sad, or who just want to talk to someone who has the time and interest to listen.

Since 1986, Virginia has required that every accredited elementary school have a full- or part-time counselor, a reaction to traditional needs as well as changes in society - fractured families, violent neighborhoods - that affect children's ability to learn. It's a requirement that has riled some parents, primarily religious conservatives who say they don't want their children's minds probed or their families' privacy pierced.

Now new attention has been focused on elementary-school guidance counselors.

Gov. George F. Allen last Friday said he will propose that the state Board of Education make requiring such counselors a local option. This would allow school boards across Virginia to choose whether to hire counselors or reading specialists, if they can't or don't want to pay for both. Allen said reading is a skill that all children need, and therefore is more important.

The Board of Education meets Wednesday to consider this and other Allen proposals as it votes on its new Standards of Accreditation, the rules governing how the state's public schools should be run.

Local principals say don't ask them to choose because they need counselors and reading specialists. ``Need, need, need,'' emphasized Principal Edward Timlin of Point O'View Elementary School in Virginia Beach.

The few who ventured to make a back-to-the-wall choice said they'd go with the counselors and hope that their teachers - with volunteer help - could use their instructional skills to handle the reading issues.

``The way our community is set up, with all the problems and everything, the guidance counselor is so critical,'' said Pamela Kiriakos, principal of Northern Shores, which draws from new and old neighborhoods in Suffolk. ``The title doesn't give it enough credit.''

Many students at Point O'View Elementary come from homes with less money than most. Problems include insufficient food and clothing and child abuse, not just low self-esteem, Timlin said.

``I'd probably have to go with guidance. It would vary from school to school,'' Timlin said. ``There are just a lot of needy kids nowadays.''

Having to choose would be ``like saying which child you don't want in your family anymore,'' complained Ellie Bates, a retired principal filling in at Malibu Elementary School in Virginia Beach.

Reading specialists work with children, singly and in groups, to help boost their reading skills, considered crucial for success in school and life. The specialists also assist regular classroom teachers with reading activities and teaching techniques.

Elementary-school guidance counselors serve as sounding boards primarily for students, but also for teachers and even parents, who seek parenting and homework tips. Northern Shores students can let Nicholson know they want to talk with her by sending her a form - if the apple on the form is circled, that means it's an emergency and Nicholson will get to the child immediately.

Emergencies come almost daily. They can be changes in families through divorce, altercations with other students, or a crisis - earlier this year, a second-grader drowned and Nicholson conducted grief sessions for the victim's class and the rest of the school.

``They just needed somebody to talk to, to cry,'' Nicholson said.

On Wednesday, she read the list of students with June birthdays during morning announcements and led the ``winner's pledge,'' a self-esteem message. Later in the day, she was to help place students in classes for the next school year and meet individually with students who sent her request forms.

She organizes year-end awards. She goes to classrooms to teach lessons in such things as respect and study and friendship skills. She holds small-group sessions for children of divorce, responsible decision-making and anger management, among others. She organizes career-week activities. She organizes testing to identify special-education and gifted students.

She talks to kids about avoiding drugs and fights, and about not avoiding personal hygiene and good manners.

``It comes down to the school, because if somebody doesn't do it, they're not going to get it,'' Nicholson said.

``If the children don't feel good about themselves, they're not going to do their best.''

Students still go to favorite teachers for advice, but teachers, principals and, too often, parents don't have or take the time to deal with all the hurts and worries of children, Nicholson and students said. Teachers also often aren't as trained as counselors in recognizing and dealing with such things as abuse.

Nicholson said she doesn't understand why some parents criticize or fear her job. Her sessions with children stay confidential. Teachers spend much more time with the children and don't get the same complaints, she said.

``I'd like to know, really, what parents are skeptical about,'' she said. ``Because the things I teach are not controversial. They're needed. I don't care how conservative you are, or how religious. All children have a need sometime.''

Most don't object. Out of almost 600 students at Northern Shores, the parents of two opted out of Nicholson's services.

In recent months, the state Department of Educations reports, some 5,500 letter-writers who commented to the state Board of Education on their proposed new Standards of Accreditation urged the board to leave the elementary guidance program as it is; about 265 asked that it be changed.

``I think it says that most parents like the program,'' said Lauren Callahan, who has three children in Taylor Elementary School in Norfolk.

Counselors help all the children through classroom lessons - not just those with problems - and parents through tips in Parent-Teacher Association newsletters, Callahan said. Since they work so much on children's self-esteem, they help reading and other programs by improving students' ability to learn.

``I definitely do not have a problem with counselors in the elementary schools,'' she said. ``I think they need them there.''

But another Norfolk parent wrote one of the letters asking that counselors be made optional in elementary schools. Some schools might need more than one, while others might benefit more from adding a reading specialist, said Tracey Z. Trimyer. She has three schoolchildren, including a son at Larchmont Elementary School.

``We just need to keep in mind that one size does not fit all,'' Trimyer said.

While she has had no problems with the activities of her children's counselors, Trimyer feels parents need to monitor them.

``I know that I prefer to know beforehand when a counselor is going to talk to my children. Because I know my children better than they do,'' she said.

``It is just so important that a guidance counselor not try and take the place of a parent. In some cases they may have to, but not until they check with the parent first.''

Sherry Nierman, a teaching assistant at Northern Shores who has two children in other Suffolk schools, also wrote the state Board of Education two weeks ago, in support of requiring the counselors. About two years ago, a counselor noticed that her younger son was depressed about a young family friend's accidental death; Nierman had been preoccupied with how an older son, a classmate of the victim, was handling it.

``So she was there for him,'' Nierman said. ``I don't feel intimidated at all by this. . . . I feel these people who don't want their child to have a special school `friend' either lack confidence in themselves or have something to hide.''

Students said teachers or administrators can and do help, but often don't have time because of their regular duties.

``It would be harder'' without a counselor, said Kelly Holcomb, a fifth-grader at Northern Shores. ``It'd be chaotic.''

``But Mrs. Nicholson,'' said classmate Duane Rollins, ``that's her job, to talk to you.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo by TAMARA VONINSKI/The Virginian-Pilot

Faye L. Nicholson, a guidance counselor at Northern Shores

Elementary School in Suffolk, talks with 6-year-old Timothy Carter

outside her office Wednesday. A proposal would let school boards

decide if they want guidance counselors or reading specialists. Many

say children need someone in the schools to talk to, while others

say the home is the best place for children to work out problems. KEYWORDS: GUIDANCE COUNSELOR READING SPECIALIST VIRGINIA

SCHOOLS

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