DATE: Sunday, June 29, 1997                 TAG: 9706260553

SECTION: FRONT                   PAGE: A6   EDITION: FINAL 

SERIES: TEACHING KIDS VALUES

        INTEGRITY

                                            LENGTH:   51 lines

INTEGRITY

Integrity n. Adhering to truth that is right, fair and honorable

in all situations. (Definition from Portsmouth schools)

Here's the Rub...

What happens when definitions of truth differ. In the kinds of

situations that build the most character, what is right, fair and

honorable may not always be clear.

So what would you do?

At work, you notice that your best friend is taking money from

petty cash for personal expenses. She also starts charging the

company for overtime that she's not actually working. She says she

needs the money more than the company does - and you're inclined to

believe her. Her kids need braces and the company is too cheap to

have a dental plan. Would it be an act of integrity or disloyalty

(loyalty is one of Norfolk's 16 traits) to turn her in?

Whatever you decide, would you discuss your dilemma with your

kids?

Building integrity

The hardest time to show integrity is when your only reward will

be knowing you did that right thing. If your child does something

wrong, but tells the truth when asked about it, praise the

truth-telling even as you punish what was done wrong. If your child

brings home a bad report or grade from school and shows you without

your having to ask, praise that as well.

Questions for children

1. If a friend had an important secret and didn't want other

people to learn about it, would telling you the secret be a big

mistake?

2. If you and your friends were collecting money for a charity

and then your friends decided to steal what they were collecting and

said they wouldn't be friends with you anymore unless you did it

too, what would you do?

3. If you agreed to sell your bike to a friend and then someone

offered you more money, would you go back on the bargain?

Source: The Kids' Book of Questions, by Gregory Stock. KEYWORDS: VALUES EDUCATION

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