DATE: Saturday, August 2, 1997              TAG: 9708010106

SECTION: DAILY BREAK             PAGE: E1   EDITION: FINAL 

TYPE: Column 

SOURCE: Larry Maddry 

                                            LENGTH:   70 lines

STAYING HOT ON THE TRAIL OF THE HUMAN INFERNO

THE HUMAN INFERNO is appearing at the Fair at the Beach through Aug. 10.

Human Infernos are - when you think about it - rarer than spotted owls in these parts. To tell the truth, until the Fire . . . oops . . . Fair at the Beach arrived in Hampton Roads, we were nearly fresh out.

It's a curious line of work. Really. A Human Inferno was missing from both my dictionary of occupational titles and - except for the minimal references to Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego - got scant attention in my biblical concordance.

It was frustrating. I like to research a subject before going out to interview someone in an offbeat occupation but could find little help.

Take the heated person at the fair, for instance. The press releases said the Human Inferno would be performing daily on the fairgrounds at Camp Pendleton in Virginia Beach but little else about him. And no word of his education.

I imagined that there was a school somewhere and degrees given for various branches of infernoism - possibly first, second and third degrees depending on the type of burn pursued and the difficulty obtaining it.

It was even possible to wonder - since universities are becoming so specialized - if there was an institution somewhere devoted exclusively to that educational rarity. The Firestone School of Incendiary Mechanics and Immolation, perhaps?

I tried to guess what the school's year book would be like and whether with the photographs of seniors there would be little entries such as:

George Witherspoon: Torch Club, member of Singe Fellowship, winner of Baby Won't You Light My Fire Award for offering himself as the official igniter during the candlelight walk in support of refugees in Somalia. It used to be said that no one could hold a candle to George. Now everybody does.

I explained my total ignorance up front to Joel Cadwell, the operations manager for the Fair at the Beach.

``Joel, I don't even know how to address this fellow if we can find him,'' I explained.

``He isn't British,'' Joel said. ``He doesn't have a title. You can just call him Mr. Inferno.''

``Well is Mr. Inferno about?''

``He's in a dive at the moment,'' he replied.

I asked him if the dive was anywhere near Shore Drive. I'm familiar with many of them and could easily meet Mr. Inferno there.

``Not that kind of dive,'' Joel replied. ``He's diving into water.''

It made no sense. Man goes to school to learn how to make a Human Inferno of himself . . . all that time and expense. . . then the first thing he does after hitting town is put himself out.

Knowing nothing about Mr. Inferno, and not wishing to prejudge him, I nevertheless imagined that he was - well how do I put it? - a bit conflicted.

But I have no direct knowledge since I was unable to reach in him time for this column.

But we do have a photo of Mr. Inferno diving from the height of a four-story building into a water tank. He looks very much like a cheap French lighter I bought in Europe that was hastily pitched from a train window when it exploded in my hand.

His death-defying feat can be seen at the fair each evening at around 9:30 p.m.

None of this is to say that I don't admire Mr. Inferno. His is certainly difficult work. And Joel says Mr. Inferno warns his audiences not to try what he is doing at home.

I dare say. If I were you, I wouldn't even try it on a boat. All we can do is admire Mr. Inferno for being here to entertain us. Let us wish him well and thank God he isn't doing his thing in the middle of Fire Prevention Week. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo KEYWORDS: REGIONAL STATE FAIR

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