DATE: Thursday, September 11, 1997          TAG: 9709110008

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B10  EDITION: FINAL 

TYPE: Letters 

                                            LENGTH:  181 lines

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT<

THE PRINCESS OF WALES

Diana's life should inspire troubled women

The untimely death of Diana, Princess of Wales, and the many television and news reports of her life held a priceless message about the strength and spiritual greatness in young women struggling with bulimia and other eating disorders. Although Diana's bulimia has been called ``her illness,'' ``an instability'' and a symptom of ``being unhinged,'' the description which I felt best explained her bulimia was ``her vulnerability.''

I have been meeting with, and aiding, young women with bulimia for almost 20 years, and I have always found that an eating disorder, in a young girl, expresses not weakness or instability but the attempt of a gifted and extraordinary young person to cope with overwhelming and, at times, seemingly insoluble life events.

Most girls do not face Diana's particular set of stresses. However, many educated, bright, compassionate girls raised in modern society experience the same sense of low self-esteem and ``sense of unworthiness,'' as one broadcaster put it, as did the princess, despite what appear to us as full rosters of important achievements and admirable social contributions. This fact explains the sheer numbers of young women sobbing at the side of the road as the princess's procession passed by.

I hope that the stories of Diana's life, and the much-deserved outpouring of love and grief at her death, will be a source of strength to all young women searching for a personal direction, for belief in themselves and, for those with eating disorders, a path out of loneliness and despair.

Laura Roberto Forman

Professor

Psychiatry and behavioral science

Eastern Virginia Medical School

Norfolk, Sept. 6, 1997

Press critique snuffed in ``Candle''

At Princess Diana's funeral, Elton John sang a modified version of ``Candle in the Wind,'' originally penned as a tribute to Marilyn Monroe. He changed most of the lyrics in a touching eulogy to Diana. Surely one of the most important - but least obvious - reasons for that rewrite was his certain desire to avoid mention of the following line from the original song:

``Even when you died, the press still hounded you.''

If sung at Diana's funeral, the grim irony of those words would have been simply too macabre to bear. Even Marilyn Monroe did not have her pulse checked by paparazzi making a film record of her bleeding to death.

James J. Duane

Chesapeake, Sept. 7, 1997

Please, no more Diana stories, songs

I ask the local TV stations to let up on the Princess Diana story. The funeral and that Elton John song have been literally milked to death, pounded into the ground, chewed to pieces.

Unless someone just crawled out of a cave on a remote island, everyone knows what happened, and everyone is saddened by this terrible event.

For her sake, if not for mine, and the sake of the two sons, please, give it up and give us a break.

Phyllis Eschert

Norfolk, Sept. 8, 1997

Redefining regal

Princess Diana is so widely loved because she loved. She enhanced her aura by disclosure of her vulnerabilities, positioning her humanness, made awesome by her beauty and grace on the public stage, as her gift to all.

She touched the lives of the afflicted with significance that elevated their spirits and embraced them in community, heralding the Scriptures that we are all children of God.

She disseminated hope by her commitment and example, not only to the miserable but also by her maternal insistence to her sons of living in the world with all its warts and foibles.

Diana was true treasure; she will be sorely missed, but she will live on to touch the future with her redefinition of regal.

James M. Gallagher

Virginia Beach, Sept. 5, 1997

A discerning editorial

I congratulate you on your aptly phrased, discerning and thought-provoking editorial (Sept. 6) on two deaths ``Princess Diana, Mother Teresa.''

Lottie J. Pidgeon

Norfolk, Sept. 6, 1997

Diana, Mother Teresa are both icons

The video of the tall, beautiful Diana face to face with the tiny, wrinkled Mother Teresa has played over and over this pass week. Though they lived very different sorts of lives, they shared a deep love for the poor and the margin-alized.

Mother Teresa's faith and holiness were real, and her life, not only with the poor but as the poor, is one that few are called to live.

Diana, though she suffered through the most scandalous of divorces and was exposed to the world in every misstep of her life, touched the hearts of millions and motivated many to make a personal commitment to the poor and the unfortunate.

If Mother Teresa is the icon of what we are all called to be, people of faith, then Diana must be the icon of the best of what we all are now - works in progress - humans struggling to find our way in the complexities and contradictions of the modern world.

Candice Sorrentino

Virginia Beach, Sept. 6, 1997

2 inspiring examples of humanitarian love

Reading about the sacrificial life of Mother Teresa and humanitarian efforts of Diana, I was challenged to stretch beyond my own personal ambitions to give more of myself to the outcasts of our human family.

How ironic that in the span of 24 hours, the world united to pay homage to two living illustrations of this kind of love. In a world full of hatred and fear, I have to wonder if someone could be trying to tell us something - and if we will listen.

Michelle Rogers

Virginia Beach, Sept. 6, 1997

Celeb photos offer us a ray of hope

I wholeheartedly apologize to Princess Diana if her death was in any way related to the fact that I buy the ``scandal sheets.'' But when you see a picture of a beloved public figure enjoying herself on a yacht in a beautiful, exotic location, it sends a ray of hope into my miserable existence that I, too, may one day find happiness.

I don't expect her to be chased down a busy street at a high rate of speed by a drunken driver, and I will not be buying any accident photos.

Whether or not I buy another tabloid is questionable, as I have little opposition to ``the beautiful people'' being photographed having a good time. There is collective blame as well as collective guilt we will all bear for Diana.

Betty A. Flagg

Chesapeake, Sept. 5, 1997

A lens for a lens

Ah, the poor, hapless paparazzi. The (hot) shoe is on the other foot; they're getting a little - a very little - taste of what it's like to be the butt of a lot of notoriety.

Tsk, tsk, tsk - take the bums out and shoot them - with their own cameras.

Frances Barnett

Norfolk, Sept. 5, 1997

A victim of deceit

Princess Diana's heart was broken long before an auto accident in Paris. Deceit, lies, betrayal and abandonment by those she trusted and respected started the process.

Heaven help the Church of England. Wasn't Charles head of the church when he took those false wedding vows?

Heaven help her sons, who will be controlled by the very people who contributed so much to the destruction of their mother.

Ellene Horton

Virginia Beach, Sept. 6, 1997

One more angel

Thank you, Virginian-Pilot for your Sept. 6 front page. Mother Teresa's picture says it all. A ``lesson in love'' indeed.

I wonder if the sadness of the week's events were too much for her tired heart. She is one more angel in heaven. May she rest in peace.

Carmen Raymundo

Virginia Beach, Sept. 6, 1997

Mother Teresa, Diana comparison unfair

Your editorial ``Two deaths'' (Sept 6) was offensive, to say the least. You state that it is ``undoubtedly unfair to compare the two,'' yet you proceed to do so in a demeaning and judgmental manner toward Princess Diana.

Both Princess Diana and Mother Teresa were incredible women with unique gifts and different callings. We find it ironic that you would trivialize Diana's work when Mother Teresa consistently spoke of the individuality of each person.

But if you must compare the two, please examine each one at the age of 36, since Princess Diana did not have another 50-plus years with which to touch numerous lives around her. At 36, Sister Teresa (as she was called) was unknown to the world; she had worked in a school up to that point. About this time, she was just embarking on a new direction that led to the founding of her missionary order three years later. Interestingly, it is believed that Princess Diana was also embarking on a new direction around the age of 35. Who can say what more she may have accomplished in another 50 years?

We are saddened by the loss of both women and have gained a sense of perspective from each one's passing. It is unfortunate that your perspective of Princess Diana was in comparison to Mother Teresa. It is likely that Mother Teresa would have been offended by the comparison.

Jeanie Kline

Cheryl Copper

Norfolk, Sept. 9, 1997 ILLUSTRATION: Photo

PRINCESS DIANA

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