DATE: Monday, September 29, 1997            TAG: 9709290074

SECTION: LOCAL                   PAGE: B1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY JOHN-HENRY DOUCETTE, CORRESPONDENT 

DATELINE: CHESAPEAKE                        LENGTH:   80 lines

EX-ADDICT SAYS GOD WAS KEY TO RECOVERY

Carolyn L. Forte, a recovering drug addict, preached her story of recovery Sunday morning at Union Bethel Baptist Church.

For the past seven years, the church has held services to raise awareness about addiction to drugs and alcohol. This year, Forte had a chance to tell her tale after an hour of songs, praise and celebration of the ``miracle of recovery.''

It was emotional and difficult to watch.

But necessary, according to Dennis Riddick, a church member and drug counselor, because it showed that people who are hooked on controlled substances, though often portrayed as hopeless junkies, are human.

``Most people know someone suffering from drugs and alcohol addiction,'' Riddick said.

Those people are real, like Forte is, and have loved ones who have had to watch their struggles. For Forte, it was her father.

When she tried to speak of his death, she broke down and silently wept at the front of the church.

The congregation urged her on.

``It's all right, girl.''

``Take your time.''

Forte's words came back. After a slow start, she opened up like the yellow flowers pinned to her dark dress.

She told the congregation she had spoken to her father the day he passed away.

``He just kept saying, `I love you, I love you,' '' Forte recalled. ``He must have said it 10 times.''

It is one sweet memory from Forte's new life.

For many years, she used crack, alcohol and pot to get through the day. She knows now that she was avoiding life. When she used, everything was a day-to-day search for crack.

``It's awesome. It's just too much. It takes you away from everything. Nothing else matters. You live to use. You use to live.''

You become the rock.

``I was pitiful. I tricked. I stole. I hurt a lot of people. I never stole from my family, but I feel like I stole something from my children.''

There were years when she didn't see or talk to people she loved, such as her father.

After she went clean, she came back to God because she believes he has the kind of faith in her that her father had. It is the kind of faith she failed to have for so long.

``Recovery is my foundation, but God is my salvation,'' she said to much applause.

Forte used to be nervous about speaking up in church. She wouldn't raise her hands to the Lord, she wouldn't shout when she felt the Spirit. She worried what people would think.

``But when I was in the street I didn't care who saw,'' she said.

Then she turned to prostitution to earn money. Stole to feed her kids. Stayed in jail, once after attempting to rob a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant while three children were in the getaway car with her. She had used drugs that day.

``I know who I was, and I'm not that person today.''

People from her support group and fellow recovering addicts in the congregation applauded.

One of them was her fiance. They met through recovery meetings, and now share a life they never thought they would have.

``That myth that addicts can't recover is dead,'' said her fiance, who did not wish to be identified. ``It's not true.''

He echoed the thoughts of Mary, another recovering addict.

``Through God's grace and mercy and through a program we are free one day at a time,'' Mary said. ``We have a better way to live.''

Forte hopes so. Her prayers are to stay straight and to be the person she wants to be. That person wants to help others.

``What I've gone through is something other people have gone through, and they don't know how to talk about it,'' Forte said.

She will tell them there is something in the world away from crack, a world which, for her, centers on God. That, she said, is freedom. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

IAN MARTIN/The Virginian-Pilot

Carolyn Forte, right, spoke Sunday about her triumph over drug

addiction at Chesapeake's Union Bethel Baptist Church. KEYWORDS: RECOVERING ADDICT

Send Suggestions or Comments to webmaster@scholar.lib.vt.edu