
DATE: Monday, October 6, 1997               TAG: 9710040042

SECTION: DAILY BREAK             PAGE: E1   EDITION: FINAL  

                                            LENGTH:  121 lines

CORRECTION/CLARIFICATION: * In a photo caption in Monday's Daily Break section, Kathleen Motteler, who presides over Sgt. Mom's, a web page on the Internet, was identified as a Navy wife. Her husband, however, is in the Army. Correction published Tuesday, October 7, 1997. * BEACH WOMAN'S WEB SITE OFFERS INFORMATION FOR MILITARY WIVES

``A `one.stop.web.shop' for all your military family support needs!''

- from Sgt Mom's World Wide Web page

SGT MOM SITS at her kitchen counter in Virginia Beach, cooking up a byte of this, a byte of that.

It may be 2 a.m., but she is on duty, answering e-mail and updating the best-known home page for military spouses. It is called, appropriately, Sgt Mom's.

``My idea was really quite simple,'' said Kathleen Motteler, an Army wife and webmaster of Sgt Mom's. ``I wanted a site for stay-at-home wives like myself. I just wanted to meet other wives.''

She meets about 3,500 a day now. The 25 pages and innumerable links to other sites draw messages from around the world, wherever military wives are looking online.

Kids' pages, military family support, educational resources, relocation tips, message boards, recipes, pen pals. Motteler handles them all from a low counter on a nearly obsolete computer.

``I try to remain as low tech and low graphic as possible without becoming too much of a snooze . . . ''

Motteler was a lonely Army wife in Fort Hood, Texas, when she starting flirting with the idea of forming a wives' club. ``I always felt like I was on the outside,'' she explained. ``It was really tough. I know they have all the official channels for support, but there were just times when it wasn't convenient to get the kids in the car, go to a building and wait in line to ask a question. It was almost more hassle than it was worth.''

Then, for Christmas 1995, the Motteler family bought itself a computer. Her husband immediately put it online. Motteler wasn't interested.

``He kept trying to drag me on there, and I said there is nothing on here that interests me whatsoever. He'd show me the search engine and the list (of search responses), but I didn't know you could click on one and go somewhere else.

``And then he'd try to show me all the technical stuff on it and he'd drag me, kicking and screaming, to it, and I'd say I just don't care.''

But it wasn't long until the holidays were over, her husband was on duty, the kids were at school and Motteler was feeling bored and lonely again. She called her husband and asked for the password. She got online, and she never turned back.

``Things are always changing, and you never know what new ideas Sgt Mom has up her mouse!''

Motteler found a chat room for parents. She didn't know how to participate, but she got a paper and pencil and wrote down everything they said. One day, someone posted an address for their personal web page.

``I thought: `I'd never put my personal information on there. If I had a page, I'd make it something useful.''

At last, she knew how to make the wives club a reality.

She found online instructions that told her how to create her own web page. It wasn't pretty, but it was easy. Motteler was hooked. Response was instantaneous.

Military wives all over the world wrote in, looking for pen pals and support. Motteler answered them all, even answering individual questions with research that never appeared on her page. She kept up with it for a year, as a late-night hobby turned into a full-time job.

Then she had to ask for help. Now, an Air Force wife in New Mexico and a Navy wife in Florida help answer the mail. Motteler still reads everything that gets posted to her site and patrols her links to make sure they're clean. For the kids, she says.

``It brings out the mother in me,'' Motteler said. ``I think the web is a wonderful place, within reason. I try very hard to keep this a nice family site.''

Motteler's typical day now consists of answering mail in the morning, then spending most of the day with her children. She teaches her preschooler at home, takes both girls to dance lessons and her son to band. Then there's the laundry, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, all the things that make up a home life. After the kids are in bed, she goes to work.

``It's not uncommon, from about 9 o'clock at night until 1 or even 2 at night, to find me pounding away on the keys,'' Motteler said. ``If my husband happens to have duty, it's 3 or 4 in the morning. My days of whining about being bored are gone, long gone.''

``If you find any errors in HTML codes, please report them, chances are I was working in the middle of the night again!''

Motteler posts data on new babies, reasoning that friends at a former post might want to know the outcome of a pregnancy. She posts recipes, solicits Realtor listings around the country and gathers information for veterans and retirees.

Motteler illustrates children's postings by hand with a mouse. She constantly checks her links to make sure they are family friendly.

She even helps other wives start their own web pages, as long as they include a link to hers. ``I figure I must be doing something right because when I started my page way back when, I was the only one,'' Motteler said.

Motteler has been an Army wife for 13 years. She's used to the transfers and the duty hours, but the sense of isolation never goes away.

``When you're in the military, your only interest isn't just the military, you still have a family,'' Motteler said. ``I have lots of wives whose husbands are deployed or on TDY (temporary duty). They come to my site and get lost for hours. Days.'' MEMO: If you'd like to get lost in Sgt Mom's pages, go to

www.sgtmoms.com or http://192.41.46.103 ILLUSTRATION: [Color Photo]

DANIEL ROSENBAUM

Kathleen Motteler communicates with other military wives around the

world.

DANIEL ROSENBAUM/The Virginian-Pilot

Kathleen Motteler of Virginia Beach is a Navy wife who started a web

page for military wives stationed around the world. Her husband,

Clint, makes dinner as their son Jake, 13, plays computer games. KEYWORDS: MILITARY SPOUSE INTERNET